Thursday, October 24, 2019

I wouldn't trust Yelp data.

Consumer Activity Falters In California's Largest Metros, Yelp Warns.

I happen to agree with what they say. I just don't believe they know anything.

Yelp has become the biggest piece of crap software out there. Their search function is completely corrupted at this point. It's WORTHLESS. You see - everyone paid to get their site up listed, and now if you search for any topic you do not get the result you want. I would wager to say that people have stopped using Yelp because other than listing all the companies in your area, you can't refine a search to save your life. Google actually does a better job. And that's not saying much.

And also - it's just become SO STALE at this point. It sends me recommendations for restaurants in cities I've never even set foot in. WTF. Not to mention - if Google can recognize in two seconds that I have been in an establishment - why can't yelp recognize that I am in a restaurant and bring up pictures. That restaurant should be that the top of the list.

I don't even know how they are strong arming companies out of their revenue at this point because everyone is in every list. It's ridiculous!

4 comments:

leaperman said...

You can trust a Tesla!

https://www.wimp.com/when-the-tesla-summons-feature-fails/

Capital of Texas Refugee said...

"[Yelp] sends me recommendations for restaurants in cities I've never even set foot in."

I think the worst sin of these recommendations sites is that they recommend stuff that's seriously over-hyped ...

French restaurants: why can't you make oeufs en cocottes?

It's so easy I can get kids to make them, and yet it's like a lot of French restaurants won't make them because they're easy to make and they're "too traditional" for them to bother with.

How 'bout some rillettes de joue de boeuf?

Again, not difficult, just requires adequate planning and preparation time, and you can serve this with all kinds of breads, even water crackers and bread sticks.

Instead, it's like every restaurant recommendation has to be accommodative of someone with perfect yoga poise and other nouvelle trends ...

Filet mignon barbecue is not really difficult, restaurant people.

And yes, you may even do it with your precious "American Wagyu" beef, just as long as you haven't transglutaminased it all to hell. :-)

"But you must have the brie!"

Then do it like this for heaven's sake!

OMG BEARNAISE, BRIE, AND BARBECUE, THIS CANNOT BE DONE

YOU ARE A BAD MAN, CAPITAL OF TEXAS REFUGEE

PLEASE LEAVE OUR BRASSERIE DU BULLSHIT AT ONCE

So this cannot even be done at a "barbecue restaurant", meaning that every restaurant shoves itself into a little "approved cuisine" box out of which they cannot possibly cook themselves into anything very fun ...

And it's not just French food.

"How's your Chicken Molé?"

"Sucks, tastes just like the Doña Maria shit in the jar with a bouillon cube and absolutely no love given for the sauce or the chicken. I make better than this when I'm sick."

You wonder how meal kits got to be popular among a certain kind of uncertain cook, but it's this sort of stuff that's pushing people back into the kitchen, not because they're necessarily brilliant, but because they're willing to try.

There are places where eating out can be fun, but Yelp's recommendations for some over-hyped crap aren't helping ...

As for the Internet "social influencers" pushing this crap, I say that they should suck on their own Spotted Dick, not that they'd ever consume it knowingly in public. :-)

BTW, I get like this when I've been eating meals at restaurants a lot.

she said: said...

LOL. Yeah. There are so many things to bitch about Yelp on. Like when people post pictures of an empty plate- I just want to do the windmill on them. I'm not coming to Yelp to see what you already ate and don't have a picture of.

I like when you put in a city and the first five result are not from that city. Said in the most sarcastic way.

Capital of Texas Refugee said...

"I like when you put in a city and the first five result are not from that city."

... steak houses in Rapid City, South Dakota ...

HERE'S A LISTING FOR SMITH & WOLLENSKY'S IN CHICAGO

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT THERE

... barbecue joints near Saint Augustine, Florida ...

DID WE MENTION THE SALT LICK IN DRIFTWOOD, TEXAS?

...

Yelp, may you and all who assembled you go Straight to Hell. :-)

(BTW, the secret of the BBQ sauce: a decoction of macerated orange peels so you get lots of that pungent orange oil to offset the twang of the tomato sauce, and yes, if you are lazy, a shot of Grand Marnier will do.)