Friday, December 31, 2010

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Two years of hope and change down the drain.

I don't know if I've ever had less feelings, than I do right now, about ending a year and starting a new one. I've been trying all day to wrap this year up with a bow and send it on its way. All I have is vast ambivalence.

Hey! Remember when we were all going to die because an oil platform blew up - opened a fissure in the earth - creating a giant mega volcano? Not to mention how the whole food chain would be infected and we were going to starve to death. And that bird flu thing. Cripes. Good times, this year.

I guess I'm looking forward to the Jerry Brown administration. It is going to be the funnest administration yet. He has no filter. The Dems are going to be forced to eat each other. He releases his budget, like - next week. The honeymoon will be short.

That is really all I've got. Except ambivalence.

My resolution for the year? To use more commas.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Updates. We have updates.

I don't really have a lot. Yesterday I woke up and it was sunny. So I immediately declared - that mow strip is going in today. And it did. All were happy and there was world peace everywhere. There was! I said it. World... peace.

I've been trying to get that damn thing in for three weeks. And it is a good thing I declared it yesterday, because Hawaii is crying and sending us her tears. Which basically means another pineapple express storm.

My mother in law is in the loony bin. Sort of. Which I find sort of comical. She was having that hip surgery over the holiday. She was doing so well she wasn't going to go to rehab at first. I think for liability they really want you to go anyway.

They never tell you in advance where they are sending them. Turns out the facility is an old psychiatric hospital. But, they only converted half of it to a rehab facility. The other half is still crazies. And she can hear them screaming.

In a little over a week I will be in Las Virus. I mean Vegas. For the Consumer Electronics Show. I'm not sure if I will be contributing a cold, or taking an all new cold. CES is well known for the havoc it reeks on peoples immune systems.

Until then, it could just be MIL updates. I'm trying to be zen because January is a busy month.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Peoples of the world - I wish you all....... would get new cell phones for Christmas.

Some people's video is like watching R rated movies without cable. All pixelly. I also hope Santa teaches you that once you shoot video, you can't rotate it. And turning your head sideways to watch a video, sucks. It'sa Santa PSA.

Oh yeah. And world Peace. Goodwill towards man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mostly the cell phone thing though.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


I still've got nuthin'. Basically. Saffron needed to go to the vet to get refills for her eye drops. So I took her to the hardware store.

One of the things about California in the last few years is just how pet friendly we've become. I was going to get shots of her next to the shovels, but meh. I get to the checker. Is that a bunny in the bag - he asks. Hey, guess what is in the bag - he shouts to another checker.

Her - Uuuuhm. A dog? Sounding unimpressed.

Him - No a bunny.

Ooohs and awwhs all around.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I told u it would be slow.

I don't have anything interesting for you.

There has been the rain. But not spectacular rain. The only interesting thing was waking up on Sunday and finding my deck flooded. Accidentally. I was just peeking outside to see the rain and went - oh shit.

The deck is effed. A recession and the fact the deck is a complicated project is the only thing that makes this story mildly amusing. Since the deck needs to be replaced - I normally keep the drains clean. It was super windy which caused leaves to clog the drains.

This deck is over my garage. And at this point is filled with 2-3 inches of water. Over the top of my feet.

I'm not really sure how much weight this deck can hold - but I'm confident I have to get that water draining right away. In the end, that was the only drama. So, meh.

Oh! I learned something new about Christmas. Apparently people send a lot of flowers. My mother in law is going in for a hip replacement - two days before Christmas. Electively. It isn't like she fell and needed the replacement. She's athletic. It just wore out. She is braver than I am. It's kind of a big surgery and staffing can't be that great during the holidays. Then 2 weeks in rehab through the New Years. Not the drug kind. I know you are a twisted bunch. You are.

Anyway. Pretty much all the good flowers were sold out. Which leads me into the forced shopping. I'm not a great shopper anyway. I don't mind the crowds so much. I just want them to move. Unlike the zombified shuffling they are doing now.

Oh! And I never hate women and old people as much as I do through the holidays. I saw this woman stare at a candy cane for like a minute. Like she'd never seen one before. I don't care if you want to fondle, smell, and dream about every item. Just stand out of the way.

See... nothing interesting.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

This years Christmas has last years sound track.

I was going to get you pictures from the light crawl - but I had equipment failure. Video instead.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

It'sa bout to get dark in here.

Wow. It isn't often that we get hit with a storm that spans the whole Pacific.

This is going to be the tipping point. Not the 30 billion in debt. Or unemployment. But, a vast long rain storm. Californians are totally going to freak out. We are a fragile bunch.

Scenes from the mall.

In SF.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

So - that is how you get all the good parking spots!

Strolled up to BART a few weekends ago and went to find a parking spot. Since we live in an earthquake zone - I like to park on the top deck.

Somehow I like to think that if the parking decks collapse, I will just get a helicopter to fly in there and pluck my undamaged car from the top deck. I know that is not the case. Still, my obsession continues with parking on the top deck.

Anyway. This is where we were greeted with radiation tape blocking off the whole area. Which immediately made me want to explore. But I didn't because I had somewhere to go. I thought staying at the line made for funnier pictures anyway.

Especially with this apocalyptic minivan sitting behind the tape strewn with garbage. Like someone had been sleeping in it.

If you zoom in more, you can see the radiation tape on the top of the car. So it must have belonged to the worker. Who was basically using a machine that looked an awful lot like an arc welder.

I wonder if he signs something to possess that tape? There must be some punishment for using it in random places. Like I would do.

Monday, December 13, 2010

A typically Californian moment.

Mr S. and I went to "the city" this weekend mainly to buy a new coffee maker from from a decidedly snooty sounding store down at the Ferry Building. The price was roughly the same as Amazon.

Something weird has started occurring lately. The emergence of "lifetime guarantees".

Kitchen stores sometimes have this kind of thing, but twice in the past week I've been offered a lifetime guarantee on something. Which I think is complete and utter bullshit. I don't believe for a minute they will honor that. At any rate - this store was offering it. Whatever.

We parked a couple of blocks away so we could take BART to other parts of the city that seemed like a pain in the ass to drive around. The city was packed this weekend.

Anyway. We walk out of the store with this huge box. I tell Mr S. - I will go get the car.

No - he says, it's only a couple of blocks. Yeah, but there is a loading zone right there! I can just park - I reply. He wasn't having any of it. Right then I spot a pedicab. Which is a bike cab.

Hey - can you take us two blocks? With our coffee maker? Which he agreed to.

Right then I felt like I'd fallen into a commercial for Visa or something. Bikes own the city. They are more important than cars. SF shuts down the roads, I think, once a week in areas to let nothing but bikes ride on them. Pedicabs will drive like they are cars. In the middle of the road.

So, imagine the Bay Bridge as a backdrop. In the middle lane of traffic, sitting in a pedicab - with a giant coffeemaker box that is taking up both our laps.

If that was someone else - I'd have definitely gotten a picture of that.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Local Earth.

My dishwasher freaked out in the middle of the night. So, I'm tired. More soon.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Don't shake the baby!

Obviously a reject shot. This billboard resides in front of a giant dip in the road.

I still think it is a funny shot. I mean, obviously shaking babies is not a funny topic. But I didn't know we needed giant billboards to tell us not to do it. I was pretty sure that whole baby shaking thing wasn't a lack of education. More of a rage thing.

Mr S and I however have co-opted the phrase and now we use it all the time. All of which sound less funny in text.

Never posted.

I think these shots just got pushed off in favor of other stuff. A lot of cars never make it to the blog. For a while cars seemed to be the only thing that was changing on a consistent basis. So there are always a lot of shots that never make it.

This isn't a car blog, after all.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Failure In three's.

Dust on my lens. Tent ruins shot. So I didn't post it. This was from the summer at the Marin Art Festival.

Somehow a black widow managed to get bisected by my garage door. You know how slow those doors move. Right? Not a great shot, but a lesson in how being all poisonous is better than being fast. I've tried to post this shot many times. It never made it.

This is from a restaurant in Sacramento called Orphan.

Sacramento has the best restaurants ever. But they take you all day. You always have to wait hours to get in or out. I hate that. Still, the next time I'm in Saccy - I will probably stop by this place.

They don't allow you to have catchup. No seriously. And, I'd still go back.

The interesting thing about this place is that it's a restaurant slapped in the middle of a residential neighborhood. And, not a crappy one. Hence the name Orphan. It is the only business for blocks. It's charming in a way.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Photography is a series of failures.

I thought maybe I'd post some of the stuff that didn't make it onto the blog for whatever reason.

I took this one a couple of weeks ago.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

The calm before the storm.

December is a pretty slow month around the Snarkolepsy blog. Usually by December I am unraveling from all the crap I have going on. This year I am just trying to finally fulfill my promise of the winter of naps. Although, it so far has been more of the winter of sleeping in. Which can really eat up a day.

Yesterday, I had planned to go up to the City and check out Santacon, today. It has been a pretty rough week. So, when I woke up - I declared it was too cold and I was too tired. Went back to sleep till 11 or so. By the time I had breakfast - it was 2.

January brings more interesting things. Like the consumer electronics show in Vegas at the beginning of Jan.

I mean - who knows what I will have between now and then. But, things should really pick up in January. For now.... sleep seems awesome.

Friday, December 03, 2010

I know Aunt Flow has terrorized more than one wedding, holiday, date etc...but I didn't know she was a jihadist.

I'm gonna tell you right now - I stole this line from one of the commenter's in the following article from the sfgate. I love reading the comments from Sfgate. They usually are hilariously snarky.

Anyway. Last night, I saw this tweet:

Female passenger subjected to pat down after her sanitary napkin showed up on body scanner. Read more.

I, of course roll my eyes, and think - who didn't see this coming? Except for men who seem to try and forget that women do in fact bleed from their va ja ja's.

I too would like to forget. You know the greatest thing about self checkout? Not having that awkward moment when you have to buy feminine products. I always have these imaginary conversations with the checkers.

Ooooh. You got that thing going on. I imagine the checker is saying. Yeah. I'm a bleeder. Whatsittoya? I think back. No matter how old I get, it still feels awkward.

This isn't the good part though. It was this sentence.

"She e-mailed GladRags, the makers of her flannel feminine product, to share her story and talked about how the TSA agent lingered in her groin area while fellow passengers, and a TSA agent-in-training looked on".

Honestly, this is where I became intrigued. Then mortified.

Intrigued, because I'd never heard of this company Gladrags before. And anyway - anyone who uses the word "glad" in any context of a woman's cycle makes me want to punch them in the neck. So, I clicked over to the site.

Then came the mortification. Oh yes. That is a word!

From the companies web site.

"Live more sustainably with GladRags washable menstrual pads and menstrual cups. We feature the Moon Cup, the Keeper Cup, the Lunette, The DivaCup, and Sea Sponge tampons. Reusable menstrual pads are comfortable and easy to use. Join our thousands of customers who have decided to make a lower carbon footprint every month!"

This is when I lost all sympathy for the woman. I was expecting a woman like some of my girlfriends who could literally move a canoe with their flow. Not someone who was so fervent about saving the planet she couldn't buy a disposable panty liner for the plane. While having a clean dry pad stuffed away in her carry on.

I'm sure TSA must know what the shape of a disposable pad looks like through the airport scanner. And really - I'd rather have them pull it out of my bag and hold it in the air to ask what it is. Rather than having a stranger groping me when I'm all period-ed up. Also a word. Google it.

I would destroy the planet for a clean disposable pad. I would.

And since I never talk about this stuff - I just have to gratuitously inject that a few weeks ago I "was shopping" and ran across Kotex U. Which are basically multicolored feminine products. I mean... you saw what happened after they started making computers in colors right? Who would have thought women would be attracted to colors?!