Saturday, May 31, 2008

Today's Auto Blog.

Today I went to the Good Guys auto show. I keep telling you that I'm not into cars. But I keep going to these things. I can't explain it. Well.. I can a little bit. Remember last event - I didn't get any corn dogs? Well.

I figured we would spend about an hour - but we wound up staying for something like 4 hours. Really.

I'm not that thrilled with the shots. The venue is a photographic nightmare.

High gloss paint. Outdoors. On grass. Under trees. So I'm not going to bore you with too many of them. Lets just say I'm not going to be able to see a 57 Chevy for a while and think "oooh-nice old Chevy". So I'll just give you the ones I find more interesting. And remember the bar is pretty high. The CES auto show really makes it hard to be impressed.

This was an amazing Ferrari. I took a ton of shots, as he'd done some interesting tricked out stuff on the body. The trees f-ed that up. The car was super shiny.

The guys sitting next to it said some guy drove up with it, and basically took off. The normal routine was the owners were near by to answer questions. And do whatever guys do when they are around nice cars.

This apparently was a logging truck. I was super fascinated because the cab was super short. The people babysitting it - said the motor was under the cab. The called it a cab on top motor.

OH! This car had 26's. Seems like the big fad has been 22's. The boys were falling all over themselves being impressed with them. Even asking me - if I'd seen a car with them before. Because clearly I looked impressed.

This car was packed in so tight, that even with a wide angle lens - this picture is the best I got. Which is a bummer. The paint job was nice.

How can 26 inch wheels get any better?

Well.. 26's, with hyper color paint. And the 26's spin!

This was the closest hi-tech car there was. They were playing Wii Bowling on the monitor.

The car was so low, it was honestly scraping metal.

I have to say that even though these are not my crowd - the guys were super nice. It was great to go to an event where a cell phone wasn't on every ear. A really laid back event. I liked it.

Pick a color!

For the love of Christmas - why do women do this? It drives me crazy. I don't care if you mess with the color in your hair. I too have thought other hair colors have more fun. Or treat you more seriously. And once, I did something just to the tipsof my bangs.

I even wanted to go purple for a while. But, hi-tech companies actually frowned on that. Not like now - where you can basically go all goth and people have to "respect you for being you" and crap.

This, makes my brain hurt though. And I wish it would stop. Yet - I can't take my eyes off it.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

So many jokes. Must resist.

Because that would spoil all the fun for you guys. If there is anything I've ever posted that begs for participation. It's this.

Okay - Who's bright idea was this? They must be a super genius!

I can barely contain myself with this picture. Am I the only here who thinks this is a bad idea? Yet - it is so funny. For those of your saying my picture sucks - this my friends, is pepper spray. In the checkout isle at the supermarket. Complete with a warning label that says you have to be 18 years or older to purchase. Slim Jims are right next to the pepper spray.

At least I know how I'm going to clear all these people out of the front of the line from now on.

Still trying.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Watching you.

He's led a good life.

I think Mow is going to die. Do you think he will go to heaven? Mr S. said he knows for a fact he believes in robot jesus. And we charge him in the direction of robot mecca. We've already given him a heart transplant - but he smokes. It just isn't good for him. Smoking shortens your life span. Everyone knows that. But Mow just won't listen.

In other news - spring form pans suck. And who makes a BBQ at 12 in the afternoon?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Some days...

I really am amazed at how easy it is to amuse me. Today it was escalators for your shopping cart. I'd never seen one before. Everyone else at the store was like "oh yeah.. so what". Made me feel like a podunk who just fell out of a cave. But I found them highly entertaining. I don't know why. Who can understand these things. They just were.

Have any of you guys seen these things yet - or am I the last person on the planet to discover them?

Friday, May 23, 2008

You know you are curious.

That is the only reason you read this blog. Right? Curious people attract other curious people.

Tweeker girl has turned out to be a pretty amazing worker. She is a little ass-kissey. Which I have to beat out of people. Ass kissey people bug the shit out of me. I already distrust 90% of what people say. That is why I love you minimally social types. If you are going to say something - chances are it is inappropriate, possibly rude, and probably true.

Anyway.. back to tweeker girl. She is such a hard worker that I have a hard time trying to figure out why she doesn't have a productive job. Other than the obvious - she looks like an f-ing tweeker. That girl can do amazing things with a razor blade though. I think she travels everywhere with it. I mean - who here is surprised by that?

In other Canton house news. Apparently I haven't escaped the neighbors yet. I thought that whole neighbor thing was over with. I handled it like a guy. I acted like nothing happened. But apparently she (the neighbor) is still holding onto... whatever. It's petty enough, that I don't even feel like putting the energy in to type out what the problem is. But it does annoy me.

This weekend I don't have much stuff on the roster to get me into trouble. I may get a little closer to Santa Cruz to try to get some interesting pictures. Right now, I'm just close enough that my eyes have burned all day. And I have a weekend BBQ with Mr S.'s buddies. Other than that - I'm already bored. Oh yeah! Making riccota cheesecake for the BBQ. Lightest cheesecake ever. You must try it.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Cranky much?

Are you wondering why I'm always spun up and bitching? You are.. right? I knew it!

This is one reason why.

The caulking on some of my marble is cracking at the Canton house. You know.. between the slab and the splash guard against the walls. It isn't a big deal at all. With new construction... it is a pretty normal thing for things to settle. No biggie.

So, I call the granite people up to ask if I can pick up some caulking that matches the color of the slab. I didn't want to have to wait around, and my credit card is on file. I figure, in a perfect world they would just have it waiting for me.

They tell me "no - we'll come out and fix it". I assure them, it isn't a big deal I'm happy to fix it. For a 5 minute job it's hardly worth them coming out. No, they insist. We'll be out to fix it.

At this point, I'm feeling pretty happy about them. It really isn't a big deal, but if they want to come out - they will score some major points. They were suppose to be out at 10 this morning. I get a call at 11 saying they are running two hours late. Still - not a big deal at this point. I'm there with tweeker girl doing some finish work anyway. Finally at 3:00 I have to call them and ask if they are coming at all.

"Wow, we totally got hung up today" they say. "Can we be out at 7:30 in the morning"?

Well.. here is another thing you must know about me. There is no gear turning in my brain until 10:00. Everyone I know understands not to call before 10. So.. 7:30 is sort of a problem. But, I book them anyway hoping my real estate friend isn't going to work early in the morning. Remember she lives across the street.

Then they call at a quarter to 5 to say the granite guy is at the house. So I have to rush over and let him in. I am glad they got it done today. I just would have prefered it with much less hassle. I mean.. They could have just let me pick some caulking up, and everyone would have been happy. I'm sure the guy who had to work late today would have been happier too.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Oh - I have you covered.

Well - I would have. If there were any knitters at the show. I would have hunted them down and forced them to be photographed. Just because it makes you happy.

Instead... just spinners.

The Canadians made a showing.

There should be a few upcoming opportunities to get you some knitty goodness.
P.S. I know you love my seesnake. Who wouldn't?

How I suck at reading people.

With the long weekend coming up, I decided the Canton house should be spruced up. There has been a lot of foot traffic. So the place looks like a herd of elephants have walked through.

If I've learned anything in my life, it is you can't get any cleaners in before a long weekend. Which apparently - is the only time I need them.

So, I've decided to use tweeker girl again. Who might become a steady in my gang. She has actually been really reliable. I would have never guessed that.

On the flip side, the guys who do my lawn and have been with me for years who used to be super reliable - I want to fire. They have become pretty unreliable. Which bums me out.

The update on the Canton house is.. it is still on the market. Today when I drove through the neighborhood - all the bank owned or short sale properties had been sold or taken off the market. So, it looks like the backlog of inventory is starting to move. Less houses are also coming on the market. So, maybe we've hit a bottom. It might be a wide bottom.. but it looks like things are getting better.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Of course I have pictures.

I'm about two days late... but:

I thought this was kind of funny. I wasn't sure how they hauled around the cabers.. but it makes sense now.

I loved that they made one of these electronic vehicles into a mini fire truck.

Clearly Scottish. Right?

Asian Scottish? Can you convert?

This was one of those Scottish fold cats that MDG made me aware of. Otherwise.. it's just a cat booth. Meh. But this one really should have had medical come in. The poor thing was panting from the heat. Not cool!

It would be helpful if......

Companies would stop making reset buttons that require something the size of a paper clip. I don't own any paper clips. Hell - I barely own any paper. This is the digital age and all. Right?

So, when I call tech support and they want me to reset something with a paper clip - my first response is "who uses those anymore". Then, "shit - what do I have which is the size of a paperclip"? This usually occupies a full minute of me running around trying to paperclip match. It is bothersome. You'd be amazed at how many things don't mimic the size of a paperclip. Tooth picks.. what are you high? Pens.. forget about it.

Also today...... Alpha contractor was at my house. I normally don't like to invite him here. I like the house to be a contractor free zone. I'm afraid that I might want him to start fixing all those things I don't know how to. I can fix stuff! But, my own demolition is tampered by my finite contractor skillz.

But, sometimes things do break that I don't know how to fix. Today it was my water heater that finally lay broken in a drippy heap. I managed to catch it before it ruined my wood scrap heap. Mostly mouldings, and crap that would piss me off if gotten wet.

Anyway.. he was nice enough to drop everything and fix it today. Which I didn't even expect. But - the better part is.. I wanted to brag about my new seesnake. Hot water is fantastic - but we have this whole tool rivalry goin' on. He usually wins because he's a professional and crap. Whatever.

He was actually excited about it. Then put the scope in his mouth to check out his teeth. Which is the first thing we did. Then made ass jokes. Also.. what we did. But, I have to tell you.. the whole thing made me feel so much better about myself. I bet everyone makes ass jokes about that thing.

Monday, May 19, 2008

How boobs have jumped the shark.

This has been bothering me for a while. It started a while back when I went to buy some spaghetti noodles and realised that if I wanted to buy my normal brand - I would have to give to the breast cancer fund.

The pink ribbon symbolising breast cancer doesn't wind up on boxes in its own you know. Companies give a percentage to the cancer awareness fund. Which totally of pisses me off. If I want to donate to the cancer fund, let me do it voluntarily. Not by slipping my donation into the products I buy. I will refuse to buy them.

When I went to the check out isle. I got hit up again. For the booobs ya know. You care about boobs don't you?

Slowly over time, their aggressive fondling of my pockets has been making me more and more annoyed. And.. last night was the last straw.

I went to Carls JR. I'd already paid and was waiting to get my stuff when the order taker asked me if I wanted to donate 2 bucks to the breast cancer awareness fund.

Are they fucking kidding me? Can't I go anywhere without them trying to get money out of me? They are like boob panhandlers. I'm pretty aware of my boobs thank you very much.

I'm just sick of it. Breast cancer in general gets way more funding than a ton of other illnesses. Like ass cancer.

I wonder if men get hit up as often as I do as a woman to give to breast cancer. I think probably not as much. I totally resent fear marketing, and the implied obligation because I'm a woman and my boobs might rot off.

If it's not Scottish - It's CRAP.

Yesterday we found ourselves at a teeny tiny Scottish games event. I was prepared for it to be pretty lame. My city doesn't seem to do anything well. It can't seem to figure out what the eclectic citizens want. I think they try to cater to the art crowd, which pisses off the techies and soccer moms. And the old people skew everything. Shouldn't they be eating mush?

Throw in a few wacky government types.. and hell - maybe it isn't as easy to please everyone as I thought. But I'm telling you... a new fondue restaurant isn't a good start. How many times do you see yourself going to fondue? Really.

Anyway! Back to the games. I have to say up front my only motivation was corn dogs. There is something you need to know about me. I'm pretty weird about food. I will get on these kicks. Whatever it happens to be - (like corn dogs) is all I'll want for months. Then I'll never eat it again.

For instance, I've probably eaten 4 corn dogs in 10 years. But right now... I just want corn dogs. I don't know what it is. In a few months, I'll be off them. Then I probably wont have another corn dog for years.

So, we get to the games. It was pretty lame as I expected. Although, it was kind of cute everyone was so into their characters. Everyone was calling you ma'lady and crap. We walk the whole place, and finally wind up in their lame attempt at a food court. And..... they are sold out of corn dogs!

For the love of the Galactica gods. WHY? Who sells out of corn dogs?

I know its a Scottish gathering and all - and it's appropriate to have food geared for the culture. But it's about 95 degrees out, and it isn't looking like anyone is into fish or crab cake sandwiches. A leg of turkey, or haggis pot pies really seem a little vomit inducing in the heat. Yet they can't seem to keep themselves in the one food item people seem to want. Corn dogs.

At this point I'm convinced that 25% of the slowdown in the economy is just because vendors can't figure out how to cater to the public. We will buy stuff - if you just give us what we want!

I was so bitter at the corn dog thing, I completely didn't notice the deep fried twinkies on the sign. Which in retrospect, I'd probably hate. Not a twinkly fan.. but I think deep fried Twinkies are really just something you should probably try at least once. Right?

Saturday, May 17, 2008

This just proves how inappropriate you are.

I just wanted to show off my new toy. Its called a Seesnake. Watch the video here.

I'll give you a few moments to think about all things you can use this for that don't involve looking into holes in the walls. You know - like home arthroscopic surgery. Or peering into the ears of your pets. I know you guys are creative. Wait.. not that! Perverts.

It doesn't have great resolution. But when you loose phone wire into the wall - this thing will be priceless.

What? Phone.... wire? So retro.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Diaries of a blowfish.

Last week we had to deal with the Baby Saffron and GI stasis. She came through that okay. This week we are dealing with Paisley's allergies again. Yesterday, she was super blown up. She pretty much had a ball sack on her chin.

Allergies have been a big theme this week. One of my girlfriends called to say her baby had become so allergic to food - she could finally loose all that weight she wanted to. Apparently, the baby is so allergic now - they can't eat certain foods and touch the baby without an incident. Epi pen and all. It apparently is a life threatening thing. How messed up is that?

I have to admit, when I started hearing about gluten allergies years ago - I thought it was just a bunch of hippy bullshit. You know.. like not immunizing your kids because there was some chance they would get autism.

When I started hearing about peanut allergies, I thought it was just a bunch of over-reactive mothers. But.. I guess I'm wrong about this whole allergy thing.

I still have a hard time understanding why such severe allergy reactions seem to be more common these days.

Maybe it is just reverse evolution.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Shankin it, 101.

I know you guys have been wondering where I've been. You can admit it.

This week I pretty much went off the rails. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know this happens every once in a while. It usually takes me a few days to get my head back in the game and find the fun in things again. I normally have to hunker down and ride it out.

I would have thought today was the day I'd snap out of it. And... this morning looked promising. It really did.

So I thought I'd whip out and take some IR shots for your enjoyment.

My IR skilz still are pretty lame. I'm getting better.. but it is anything but effortless for me.

Anyway... the lake was beautiful, and sparkly in the sun. And - all of you should know by now I'm totally distracted by shiny things. So I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and twisted my ankle on some un-even pavement. Which made me completely biff it.

The first thing I did was check my gear. Hey.. I have priorities! After thanking the god I don't believe in that none of my lenses were broken, I make a quick look at my throbbing knee. I make a mental note that it is going to suck later. I just went out to take a few quick photos anyway. So I take a few shots.

Now if there is one thing I totally hate about my camera is that when I'm taking IR shots I can't turn off the 30 second countdown to take a shot. If I remember correctly, it is some "feature" so you don't burn out the LCD. But, it just pisses me off. So, every single IR shot takes 30 seconds. Since IR photography isn't very well documented anywhere, and I have a really short attention span I can't figure out if this is something you can disable. But I really.. really.. want to.

Anyway..with my countdown problem.. I had a lot of time to become distracted, and became not really into taking photos. It was like 100 degrees. Oh no. I'm not exaggerating. We are having a heatwave. The bugs were f-ing biting me. And there was this dry 100 degree heat wind that was really exceptional. I have to give it props for its ability to take all the moisture from your skin.

Plus I start wondering how much I'm going to start bleeding. I begin trying to figure out if I'm going to have to handle that somehow. I'm pretty inventive after 5 months of contractor bandages (masking tape and anything you can find that is absorbent). You know... so I don't bleed all over my car. Sometimes you can have a tiny little cut and it will look like you got run over by a train and exploded. Big giant cut... not so much. Which was the case this time.

At least it isn't as bad as the time I got road tar in my hip. But.. it isn't going to look pretty for a while. Skin is pretty over-rated anyway.

I should have known it was too early to go out into the world.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Medical Sunday.

Today - we were going to shelter in place. Mothers should certainly be appreciated. Obviously. But, a whole holiday where women take over and can't make a discision to save their lives - makes me want to hide.

Anyway... we got up this morning and our youngest (the baby, Saffron) was a little off. She was staying low to the ground, and was disinterested in attention. For her this is a huge warning sign. She will give up food, water, toys. Anything in favor of being rubbed. We hoped it was just a hairball backup. Even though this would be her first. We gave her pain meds and Propulsid to get her gut going.

As time went on though, it was clear she was in pretty bad discomfort. She was panting. Not with her tongue out like a dog. Bunnies don't do that - but her breathing was very panty. Normally the Metacam provides pretty instant pain relief for bunnies. She wasn't showing improvement so I whipped some sub-que fluids into her, and she perked up. Her breathing is back to normal. For now it doesn't look like a vet visit.

Then later in the day Mr S. and I were making ricotta cheesecake. He was putting a giant water bath pan into the oven, and rubbed his hand up against the oven element.

I don't know why you never have the medical supplies on hand for the emergencies you need. Injury by whirling blades of death. Got you covered. Severe allergic reaction. Here have a shot. Burns.. not so much.

At any rate... Mr S. is all bandaged up after a trip to the store.

Recipe for ricotta cheesecake.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

The little ones - they understand.

Today I set about cleaning up the garage. My freak out level was on stun. After 5 months working pretty much every day on the Canton house, the garage had started to close in on me. I couldn't find anything. I could barely walk in there without tripping. And... it's pretty amazing how much technology can become obsolete in 5 months. All that crap needed to go.

The day started out pretty uneventfully. We stuck out Mow to cut the front lawn and went on about our business deciding what could be donated, or just thrown away.

Now, I've talked a few times about the reaction we get from Mow. I rarely post about it anymore. When I'm in my kitchen and Mow is going - I'll look out the window and see someone stopped in the middle of the street watching it. It just makes me smile. I can't explain it. I'm still surprised when people stop. We've lived here a couple of years now, and I just naturally think everyone has seen it by now. It pretty much is not blog worthy anymore.

Anyway.. I'm digressing. Cleaning out the garage - bla, bla, bla.

I've got my back to the street, and I hear in the tiniest voice "something, something.. rooobot"? Which snaps me into what is happening out there. I don't see anyone - but I can see a tiny red flag. The ones that people put on scooters and bikes so you don't run their asses over with cars.

So, I step to the side of the Chrysler and see a man on a tandem bike with this young boy. The little kid was fascinated, and he was asking his dad if it was a robot. This interested me a great deal because the boy was young. Really young. But, he seemed really articulate for his age. And yes.. I get to comment on a 4 year being articulate. So, I asked the kid how old he was. Because clearly, he was super smart. When he replied that he was 4 - I became fully engaged.

I'm all "you are 4 and you know this is a robot"? He replied that he did. He dad and I started talking about Mow, and that his son had robots at home. At random points when I was talking to the dad, the kid would pick up on something and enter the conversation. Like when I was telling his dad that Mow didn't do everything like edge trimming, but it was nice to have when things were busy. The kid asked "the robot doesn't do everything?" His dad told the boy "you know the machine that makes (this noise - simulating the edger noise) it doesn't do that". The kid immediately understood. He was 4.. did I mention that?

I was totally floored at how well the kid grasped the idea of robots in general. It was like he was a little adult. At 4. I loved the whole exchange.

Friday, May 09, 2008


The California poppies are still hanging around at my place. Which was a complete surprise. I don't think we've gotten any measurable rainfall since January. Everything is already tinder dry. I don't know why the poppies are so happy at my place. They mostly don't get any water or attention. I didn't plant them. And the main poppy bloom I think was over at least a month ago.

At least they almost cancel out those evil rose bushes I can't seem to get rid of.

Angry eyes.

In case you were wondering.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Move along - nothing to see here.

I just got back from shopping. I heard those screams!

It has been well documented on this blog how much I have anger management issues in stores. But listen - I'm all better now. I have a known affliction. And it feels great. Honestly!

When I'm in a store, and all I can think about is hoping the person holding up the line will choke to death on their own saliva - I can think "relax Snarkolepsy, you've got cabin fever". Oh yes I do!

Look.. depending on who you ask, I have 2/3's of the symptoms. Granted - I'm not in a cabin. Per se. I'd be in a store. That is just a technicality. These people confirm my affliction. You aren't calling them a liar are you?

From the University of Minnesota:

"You're bored, edgy and irritable. You're restless and dissatisfied with being at home. Maybe you're even claustrophobic. Yet, you are immobilized by a pervasive feeling of inertia. You may have "cabin fever."

And here from Mythbusters:

"However, Adam exhibited all four common symptoms of cabin fever (irritability, forgetfulness, angry eyes, and excessive sleeping)"

Whew. That is a total relief. Now I don't need all the therapy and social intervention after all.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

I feel robbed and embarrassed.

Remember when I was at Maker Faire and I bought one of these Bunny Beanies? Post here. I was going to take pictures of my bunnies in it, then hand it off to a friend who just had a newborn.

Anyway... I got it home, and opened the container. Inside was just yarn. I looked at Mr S., and said "what the hell"?

Apparently it was just a kit. And if I weren't so ADD and illiterate I might have read the container. In my defense, I would have thought for 25 bucks, it might have already been assembled. 25 bucks for yarn!

Now I can't take cute bunny pictures. I have this yarn I have no use for. Pisses me off.

Later that night I say to Mr S. "Maybe your friends' wife knits. Lots of chicks do that these days". He decides to tell his buddy the story. We debated on whether we should reveal wanting to use his gift for props before we gave it to him. But Mr S. even told him that part.

I kind of feel like an asshole. "Hey - here is this cute gift! You have to make it yourself though". I'm sure he was thinking "wow - thanks for everything asshole".

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Mmmmm.... honey.

I actually had two day passes for Maker Faire - but, I just couldn't bring myself to get up enough energy to drive there and deal with the traffic. Maker Faire was packed. When we were leaving at 3:00 yesterday there will still hundreds of people in line to get in. I just couldn't do it.

However - I hadn't managed to get my faire food itch scratched yesterday. Other than corn dogs, and garlic fries - I was still wanting crappy food today. Luckily my city was having a honey festival. I was pretty much too tired to do that too.. but I figured I could suck it up for an hour to get corn dogs. Here are all the shots I got.

This was the most interesting thing at the festival. Work from Metal Souls.

We also wound up stalking the Canton house today. My agent friend was having an open house. Normally I don't like to visit the houses when they are open. I feel nervous about what people are going to say. But I also feel like my friend might be massaging my ego. I want to know how people really feel.

I thought it would be pretty dead at the house, since everyone in town was at the honey festival. And I mean everyone. It looks to me like people are tired of not spending money.. because I'd never seen the place so full.

Anyway - at first I wasn't going to go, but I thought she might be lonely. When we got there, a few cars were there. People seemed to be spending a lot of time looking at the place. Which is a good sign. If people just walk in and out, they don't think much of the place. The more time they spend, the more in love they fall. At least that is my hope.

Brokers tour was also pretty good last Thursday. There was a higher than average turn out. Of course, none of this means anything until an offer is made. But it's interesting from a market standpoint. If you are into that kind of thing.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Maker Faire '08 part 8.

Last post.

The lost in Space robot is at most of the shows.

Do they really think people are going to drive these tiny cars?

R2D2 also is at most of the shows.

Now we're talking. 3D laser printer. When I first heard about these - I thought it was complete bullshit. But I've been tracking them over the years. Here, here and here. They've come down in price, and they are making more items. At this rate - in 5 years, most everyone will have them in their homes.

Maker Faire had some serious merchandising this year.

Kids playing with a create kit. I didn't see iRobot there at all.

Maker Faire '08 Part 7.

I'd never seen this before. Foot long corn dogs. Normal sized ones on the right.

A few months ago Mr S. started sending me weekly links from Tool Monger. At first I thought it was ridiculous. But now I'm hooked. They have a bunch of interesting stuff.

Not a real child.

Remote control tank village.

Says "Need a job". Perhaps the devil on his shoulder might be career limiting. Unless he's going into porn.

Two headed stuffed calf? I don't know why. I just take the pictures.

When nothing else will do but to play a shovel guitar.

Motorised barcalounger.