Tuesday, May 20, 2008

It would be helpful if......

Companies would stop making reset buttons that require something the size of a paper clip. I don't own any paper clips. Hell - I barely own any paper. This is the digital age and all. Right?

So, when I call tech support and they want me to reset something with a paper clip - my first response is "who uses those anymore". Then, "shit - what do I have which is the size of a paperclip"? This usually occupies a full minute of me running around trying to paperclip match. It is bothersome. You'd be amazed at how many things don't mimic the size of a paperclip. Tooth picks.. what are you high? Pens.. forget about it.

Also today...... Alpha contractor was at my house. I normally don't like to invite him here. I like the house to be a contractor free zone. I'm afraid that I might want him to start fixing all those things I don't know how to. I can fix stuff! But, my own demolition is tampered by my finite contractor skillz.

But, sometimes things do break that I don't know how to fix. Today it was my water heater that finally lay broken in a drippy heap. I managed to catch it before it ruined my wood scrap heap. Mostly mouldings, and crap that would piss me off if gotten wet.

Anyway.. he was nice enough to drop everything and fix it today. Which I didn't even expect. But - the better part is.. I wanted to brag about my new seesnake. Hot water is fantastic - but we have this whole tool rivalry goin' on. He usually wins because he's a professional and crap. Whatever.

He was actually excited about it. Then put the scope in his mouth to check out his teeth. Which is the first thing we did. Then made ass jokes. Also.. what we did. But, I have to tell you.. the whole thing made me feel so much better about myself. I bet everyone makes ass jokes about that thing.


  1. Man, dig out those cute quilting basting pins that you bought an eon ago. Those should work. Or did you take those back to the store?

    I think I would be puting the scope in Dog deG's ears, and probably up my own nose.

  2. Oh! For the love of Christmas. That's right. Where did I put those?