Friday, July 30, 2021

On a Friday morning.

Last year I asked - what comes after helicopter money? Never in a million years would I imagine they'd drop so much money that inflation would go super nova. I thought people would be risk adverse given the circumstances. Instead they bid up housing prices and everything else.

Now the spending pulse seems to be waning. All that stimmy money is drying up.

Now what?

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Next verse - same as the first.

COVID is surging again in California. How CDC’s indoor mask guidance will affect the state.

"Walensky said the reversal was due to new evidence suggesting vaccinated people infected with the Delta variant “may be contagious and spread the virus to others.”

“This new science is worrisome, and unfortunately warrants an update to our recommendations,” Walensky said."

The frustrating thing is - we see what is happening in other countries, and the US just ignores it. Time after time. Then everyone is shocked when we have the same result.

It's been WIDELY known since winter that the Delta variant was capably of immunity escape. Meaning it tries to evade the antibodies you develop to protect you. I have been saying for a little while now that if this is like a bad flu (for which you need a new vaccine every year) you are not going to be protected for future strains. BUUUUUUUT. It gets worse. 

For about a week, it's been all over night time twitter, that even the immunity people get after the vaccine wears off. It hadn't been circulating for long enough to talk about it. But last night on the old people news they confirmed it without saying so. People who got the jab in December and January are in the running for a booster shot. 

ALL of these people have been circulating around thinking they were immune. And the CDC has been on the hopeium train with the vaccine.

Places I thought had the best chance of controlling it are now seeing very large rises in cases. Despite a very high threshold of vaccination. Like Isreal, and Iceland. These countries have a deep national unity. Unlike the US where most people just want to see it burn down. My guess is they will get their wish. because they refuse to work together. At this point I think all the Democrats have to do to kill Republicans off is say - look, I think it would be a good idea to breath air. And the Republicans would say - I WILL NOT. I won't breath air if it's the last thing I do! And it's frustrating because I think we need all the Republicans. Otherwise our voting block gets smaller.

I don't make the rules, but people better figure this shit out soon. I've said it before - the chart goes straight up like a SpaceX rocket. And the oxygen requirements for this variant are much higher when people get sick. 

Pretending it isn't happening will not save the economy.

Saturday, July 24, 2021

Friday, July 23, 2021


Why the Bay Area doesn't need to worry much about delta breakthrough cases. 

Those of us who have been watching this on night time twitter have been holding our breath. Initially it looked like there were only 20% breakthrough cases a week ago (which is not great) but things are looking rather worse now. 

I tried to tell people a couple of months ago that other countries who were more vaccinated than the US were still having  terrible outbreaks. But no one wanted to listen.

The Delta strain or variant has always been known to have immune breakthrough capabilities. Meaning it has mutated to evade antibodies. Every time things get super hot, it spits out a new variant.

There is a lot of blame to go around, but Biden telling people that once you have the jab you can never get it again was just another of the many errors. 

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Hope is not a strategy.

When I left on my trip around the 24th of June - the US was averaging 4000 cases of COVID a day. Now, nearly one month later, we are catching 60,000 cases a day.

I'm not sure why the government won't treat people as adults and just tell them "if this is like the flu - which you need a new shot for every year, you are vulnerable to the strains you are not vaccinated for. I think all sides suck at this point. It's been well known that the vaccines are 60-80 percent effective on the new variant. Or strain. Because they were made before that strain was prevalent. You can not shake a stick right now and not find break through cases. Letting vaccinated and non vaccinated people co-mingle is kinda crazy. But I don't care at this point because I'm tired of the never ending masks don't work conversation. Let's find out!

This sheep is still wearing her mask. All across the country and I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks. I don't trust noneya. 

Strangely, I feel the least safe in California. And I went through 10 States! Back in flyover country they were still doing social distancing and workers were wearing masks. 

Las Vegas was a bit dicey in the casinos, but the only place I wanted to go through a casino for was International Smoke by Ayesha Curry. I might be willing to die for that. I knew things were getting bad because even Vegas is going back to masks. Didn't they say hell no - we won't go?

The rest of the world is literally on fire right now with cases. But the US was too busy doing the mother superior dance and dunking on each other than to do what was right. Now I think we are really going to pay. The charts in other countries are like an Elon Musk space rocket. And everyone has been mixing together.

All I know is that people better figure this out soon because this will mutate into a variant that isn't treatable by a vaccine and we are back to square one. The government needs to be telling people to chill out until the vaccines catch up. Instead I think they are telling people - we hope that won't happen here.

Wienermobile in the wild.

I forgot a got this while I was gone.

Sunday, July 18, 2021

Saturday, July 17, 2021

Saturday car haul.


The car scene is still super weak. I probably wouldn't have even posted these - but I just drove across the country. It's not like I expected bad ass cars, but even a beat up old truck that had something unique would have been enough. I take the car culture here for granted. So, I'm going to try to be better.

Friday, July 16, 2021

Guilt is a powerful drug. Final.

I didn't realize it at the time (and I should have) but all this stress was getting to my Uncle. He just lost his wife. His apartment is trying to get him relocated, and now his niece is coming in to take all his stuff, and his pay porn.

I think I was fully in shock half the time I was there. I too lost my Aunt and all these new bombs are being dropped on me. I heard through the family grapevine that he was starting to act weirder. Once I found out he'd started a fire in the oven I said - I better go out there.

Independently all of this - the apartment stuff was happening. When I landed on the ground, the complex told me that he'd set four fires this year. Then to immediately be drug into a meeting with banks, Adult Protective Services, and who I thought was the complex warden - was just intense. On the very first day I was there!

So anyway. A day before I left I got a call from my Uncle saying he was having a concert in the back of his complex. Mr S. and I should come if we can. And he'd started talking about people living in the trees. This was in the evening after I left that day. I was too exhausted to deal with it.

The next day was fine. He was talking about the people living in the trees a lot. I was scheduled to leave that night. I had a meeting with the complex warden, (she really was the nicest woman) and asked her how she thought she was going to get him out. Kidnap? Bum rush? How? I mean, he's going to a very nice place that takes care of everything for him. It costs as much as one of my mortgages. But obviously I can't control him. How are they going to get him out?

I tried saying - Uncle, this apartment is big enough for a family with babies. Don't you want babies to be in here? He was like - no.

It was the final night. I was just leaving a restaurant on my way back to the airbnb to pack, and I got a text. Hey - Ms. Snarkoleopsy. Could you give me a call - it's sort of urgent.

I'm like -fuuuuuck.
He's going to drag me the whole time. It was the warden and a social worker who told me my Uncle was outside trying to save people in the trees. They were afraid he would walk into traffic or harm himself. So.... over there I drive. Fire, Ambulance and an undercover cop were on their way in case things got weird.

This is the state  found him in. Some real Blair Witch shit. He refused to leave this tree until the people in the trees were saved. Apparently they were women hanging spread eagle upside down. They had to call in the maintenance man and everything to convince him they would save the women. They had to pretend he was getting a ladder, until we could convince him to get into the ambulance.

They were clearly doing a low level 5150 on him. When the ambulance got there they asked him all those questions to see if you are cognizant, and he answered them perfectly! They were like if he refuses to go, we can't take him because he answered these questions correctly.

Thankfully he did voluntarily get inside. I don't know what kind of crazy that would have been if he didn't. And off to the hospital I drive.

At the hospital I'm pulled into a "stabilization unit". Which is the closest I've been to a rubber room, and I've been on a psych ward before. Notice I say on, and not in.

The bed is made from that plastic you make Fisher Price childrens' slides from. It's all one unit. There is a chair, and a security camera in the top of the ceiling. TV is behind plexi.  I walk in with a cell phone and a bottle of water, but they make me put that in a locker. Wand me, and give me said key to locker. Which now that I think about it doesn't make a lot of sense. Keys are sharp. Water bottles are not. But whatever. I was there till super late.


Now, was the trip worth it? Well, mostly no. But I can say I did everything I possibly could. And I hate that I had to learn some things the very hard way. Sometimes that's what you need to help you not start packing those suitcases full of guilt. I'm sure I probably still will - it's human nature. At least I will be able to look back on all of this for a helpful reminder from time to time.

That's why I immortalized it all here. So I can never forget. Distance gives you amnesia.

Thursday, July 15, 2021

Guilt is a powerful drug. Chapter 4.

Then there are people like my Uncle who are basically un-helpable. He had "big dreams", but no ambition. He broke everything he touched. Yet in some ways maybe he saved my life by being a fuck-up. He shaped everything I thought about men. He wouldn't even learn to BBQ. So I was like - oh no. I'm not marrying a man who won't learn to BBQ. 

I technically think that is the minimum bar for being a man. Apologies to anyone out there who doesn't BBQ. That's just my truth.

He created my love for infomercials because they are so manipulative. I could see how they sucked him in. He auto-paid for get rich quick schemes that he never attempted. I used to think - if you just stopped paying for those things you would be richer. His lockers were full of how to get rich quick in the stock market. He never figured out that few people get rich quick. Usually it's hard as fuck.

The one day Mr S. spent with me going through the lockers he ran into multiples of those BBQ tools and he just laughed because he knew how much that burned. I've been super resentful for a very long time now. I think my Aunt could have had a better life.

And in those whole process.... I can't even be resentful because apparently my Uncle was having an affair! I did not have that on my dysfunctional bingo card. I'm like what? Stop the game. I never once saw my Uncle stray or anything close.

But a few months ago my Aunt did mention something about another lady she wanted out of the picture. I figured my Uncle was a bit lonely at this point and didn't think much of it. As a matter of a fact, I laughed and asked my Aunt if he was getting "handies." Later I told Mr S. about it, because I felt like I was sort of being a dick at the time. They are old and I used to like to poke my Uncle. I'm like - you are just causing trouble. But legit, he was having an affair. And that woman was apparently the prime suspect they thought was robbing him.

The early days when I was there apparently he had broken up with her. The second half he was in love with her and wanted to buy her a house. In my head I was like mother fucker - if I was sending you money this whole time and rolled up to this bullshit I would lose my mind. I have yet to total up his porn budget. And I don't care he's watching porn! I only care he's paying for it. I was actually going to teach him how to get free porn before I left, but things got weird. Yes. I said that - after I just said that.


Wednesday, July 14, 2021

Guilt is a powerful drug. Chapter 3.

I spent a lot of time with what I first thought was the "Projects Warden". Initially she was very stern with me. And I can understand why. She had already called in Adult Protective Services because she thought "his circle" was robbing him. Eventually I learned this person was the Development Director or something. Her job was to try and get people jobs who lived in the complex.

A few days in, she said she was so suspicious of me because she used to work in retail and became very cynical. ( In my head I think - and you chose THIS place as a refuge?) But I didn't say that at the time. I did later though.

Her only job was trying to wedge my Uncle out of this apartment. And she'd broken a lot of rules because HUD would have tossed him out. A family should be living in that apartment. Not a single man. She had done an extraordinary amount of work finding him a safe place to live. I didn't really understand why at the time. 

About half way in I did ask her how she became less cynical. And truthfully I didn't believe in my heart she had. We are all trying, right? I told her I didn't think anyone was robbing my Uncle. It just didn't make sense. They could have taken everything.

It was then she revealed she had a brother living on the streets with schizophrenia. So, maybe she was chasing the guilt deamon too. I talked to her a bit about her job, and told her to save as many young ones as she could. People take more chances on the young ones. If you don't get good work experience in your 20's, you are completely fucked for life.

I talked to her about the lady helping my Uncle pack. The one trading ear rings at bingo. This woman touched me so much that I wanted to just send a little post card to her sister in Hayward to tell he that she turned out to be a lovely lady. Mr S. said I shouldn't do that. If someone did that to me I would find it sweet but creepy.

But, the Development director said she didn't find it creepy at all. And it was just at that moment the lady walked in. I asked he if it was okay that she gave me her sisters address so I could send her a postcard and tell her how lovely she was. She said - I have to ask my sister. She doesn't even want the family knowing where she lived, she continued.

In my head I was like - oh - this family is fully torched. And it's sad because I think the worse crime a lot of these people did was being born into families who just didn't teach them how to survive. My family didn't teach me how to survive either, but I had to figure that shit out. I saw directly what would happen if I didn't.


Tuesday, July 13, 2021

Guilt is a powerful drug. Chapter 2.

When I first rolled up to my Uncles place, a black woman was the first to greet me. I don't know why that matters other than accuracy. Immediately she says - your Uncle gave me a whole bunch of your Aunts ear-rings. Since you are family, I think you should look through them first. Which sort of touched me because I know even very poor people have a code of conduct. In my head I'm like - the code still exists.

She brought boxes and boxes of them back. She didn't even have pierced ears. She was trading them at Bingo. I went though the whole lot and kept three sets. I told her I thought my Aunt would have wanted her to have them.

Over the days I found out this woman was my Uncles neighbor. She had been helping him pack. She was the sweetest thing. But she had a familiar story. She got into drugs, and then needed to sell her body to pay for drugs. Her pimp nearly beat the life out of her. A few days later I found out she had a sister in Hayward who is a doctor. She is less than 30 minutes from me.

They say that income disparity is the greatest in families. Not between white people and black people. But between siblings. And I've seen this phenomena many, many, times in my life. One sibling can be quite wealthy and another is living in the projects.

This woman was a living breathing example. CONTINUED....

Monday, July 12, 2021

Guilt is a powerful drug.

People think the other drugs are more powerful, but I've tried a few of them - and guilt will try to ruin your life just as easily as any of the others.

I went out to handle my Uncles' affairs so I could finally rest. The burden I had been carrying around had grown so heavy. I just couldn't add one more layer of guilt. Abandoning him would have done that. I went out there for me. Not for him. Altruism is based on selfishness. It is. These people built all the foundations for my walls. And I'm just tired. Maybe now that they are dead or nearly so, I don't have to have my guard up so much. (maybe)

It took me ten days to figure out if people were robbing him blind, or if he was just doing what he'd always done. Giving his money away, and or spending it as fast as he could. He was always extremely bad at money.

My only mission was to get him to a place where he couldn't kill anyone because he's got a touch of the dimentia. It didn't matter how I felt about anything. I just had to pack that away and hope I could leave it there as I left. I had to get rid of his storages so he could afford to live in this new assisted living environment. I had to try and get rid of almost everything in his apartment because it won't fit in the new place. And I had to find out where all his money was going.

The first day I got there he seemed not too bad. He was "seeing things", but it still seemed like he could live independently with help. But each day after it was like he got 100% worse. By day two, the mirror in his bedroom was a door to another room and people would come in at night and cut things off of him. Mostly his keys and other things he'd lost.

On day two I tried to take him with me to the storage's, but everytihng I wanted to throw out, he wanted to take back to his apartment. He'd worked hard for all of these things and the only reason they were there is because he couldn't have them at the aparment. "The Projects" do inspections at least four times a year. And I agree with him! But if he didn't want to be hassled by the government - he should have thought of that a long time ago.

Before long I found myself stealing his keys so I could get in to the storages without him. So now I'm that asshole.


Wednesday, July 07, 2021

How I got trapped in the Marvel Universe for about three days.

I didn't come here for family heirlooms. I came for the pictures. When you have a fire, it's like your history doesn't exist. For instance - I don't have one single photo of when I was a child. And while it was my Aunts and Uncles trailer that burned - I knew they had storages. I was hoping to find pictures there.

So... I drop into town and immediately everyone was talking about this rare commic book collection. My Uncle claimed to have number 1's of Avengers, and Ironman. Also a number 1 of a commic book called Blackhawk. In my head I think - I don't .... think, but maybe I should check. Because I'd heard some of these stories growing up and never believed him. I mean.... if you had THOSE comics why are you living in the projects?

So I spent a day or so trying to find the storage. Once I got in, he had at least 100 long boxes. But in typical hoader fashion they were all rotting. His storage had a hole in the roof and water had been getting in for a LONG time. Mr. S and I managed to wrestle out ten long boxes and took them to the airbnb we are staying in. We tried to sort though a couple of boxes and realised - we don't have time for this. It will take forever. And mind you - even if I'd wanted to get into this storage unit earler in life, my Uncle never would have let me. He was VERY protective of it. Neadlessly in my opinion.

So we start tracking down comic book stores. We bring him 10 boxes, and I guess they were all in the Valient Universe. No one wants those. I go back to the storage and forget all the Valient stuff. I bring boxes that are only labled DC or Marvel. And I started getting less money. They are all pretty much from the 90's and not yet collectable. I think my Uncle has been paying on this storage for 20 years now. The comic book guy did manage to find some Ren And Stimpy comics which I didn't even know existed. They aren't worth anything. But I'm taking those home.

So yeah. I went on a wild goose chase for days over these commics. And there is a TINY amount of money in them. I got 650 bucks for 30 boxes. But finally the comic guy was like - yeah. Stop bringing us stuff. They were giving me like 21 bucks a box.

Eventually I figure out that this was more trouble than it was worth. But I had to check or I would have always wondered.

Sunday, July 04, 2021

My Uncle showed me his junk today because he thought he was keeping lottery tickets in his underwear. How was your day?

Conversations with Mr S.

Yesterday was the first day Mr S. got to interact with my Uncle. I've been trying to make this trip not suck for him(my husband), and he's working on a VR project remotely anyway.

After we get back to the airbnb he says to me - The only difference between your Uncle and David Lynch is talent. (Because my Uncle has a bit of the dimentia now - which has gotten markedly worse since my Aunt passed.

He says - I could watch this movie if done right. Then he says - if David Lynch got dimentia..... how would anyone know?

And I thought that shit was super funny because it's true. Also, after we left my Uncles place my husband looked completely stunned. I'm like - are you doing okay? He says - yeah. It's one thing to hear you describe this stuff, but seeing it first hand is a different story. I just laughed because I'm on like day three or four now. I'm past that stage.

The town I'm in had their fireworks show last night.

Friday, July 02, 2021

This is the rawest you will ever get me.

I'm pretty sure that when I was born, I popped out and just started running and running and running. Now I've outrun all of those people, and I'm left wondering now what?

I'm out here looking at the Mississippi River wondering what the fuck I did to deserve all of this. I'm helping a man I don't even know (even though he's been in my life the whole time) into the next stage of his life.

My Uncle was always a background character in my family drama. My mom was always the main character because she had a metal illness. My Aunt and I were always just trying to dodge all the shrapnel from both of them. I have always carried an enormous amount of guilt and resentment of my Uncle because they lived in government housing. The deepest amount of guilt you can imagine, because you guys see my pictures. I'm not struggling. I wanted to help my Aunt so many times - I've lost count. But I couldn't because my Uncle just plowed through money and she would never leave him. Money meant mothing to him. I saw what they did when they won the California Lottery and I just couldnt give them money. He just bought crap they couldn't use and frittered it all away. They were poor almost immediately. I thought I was coming here to put some of those demons to rest.

So... I pop into town and land at my Uncle's Project. I told you about a month ago my Aunt died. Immediately people who work there pull me into an office and tell me they have opened an Adult Protective Services case. CPS for adults. I guess when my Aunt was in the hospital my Uncle got lonely and found some tender loving care with some other woman and they think she was robbing him blind. I find out he had three bank accounts (at least one is overdrawn)and all of his accounts are compromised. How someone living in the Projects has three accounts is beyond me. I spend the first day (three hours!) at the bank with a person from the Projects and another person from APS shutting down accounts and the abilty to withdraw money. It's honestly like a bomb got dropped on me. I'm in complete shock.

They pull a credit report on him to find out where all his money is going. They tell me someone is renting videos like five times a day. I ask if it's porn, and she shakes her head yes. A few months ago my Uncle was talking to me about something (I don't even remember now) and I was kinda surprised. I'm like - Uncle - porn is free. I don't give a fuck if he is watching - I only care that he is paying for it.

The projects are trying to relocate him because he's got a bit of the dimentia and he has started four fires this year in his appartment. And because one or more people are robbing him, they are suspcious of me at first. Not of robbing him, but my relationship with him. It's been about five years since I have been out. They didn't know me from Adam.

He is also a hoarder, so now my job is to get him to get rid of most of his stuff because he can't have it at the new place. We are trying to get him into assisted living so he doesn't kill someone. And it's a much smaller place. He is also paying on 2-3 storage units. I know of two of them.

The second day I was able to make some progess on his apartment. He is a single man in a two bedroom unit. In the Projects they kick people out because the unit is made for a family. Since he is a hoader, everything I throw away I have to ask about. Even if it's just an empty envelope. And it's shit-ton of stuff.

Today he went into full hoarder mode. Everything I wanted to clean out from one of his storages he wanted to take back to his appartment. And he started getting really pissed at me. I genuinely don't know what to do.

And oh by the way. One of the "characters" that made me aware of all of this is also suspected possibly of taking his money. A police report needed to be taken because of the bank stuff. I've spent three days trying to figure out if he is involved or not. Lots of people seem suspicious of him. I'm pretty sure my Uncle would have signed over power of attorney to him because my Uncle is just that way. He could have taken everything - so none of this makes sense. And this guy has done hard time. I guess he did 20 for stealing DMV cameras when he was 17. So, now I might have to live with the idea this person goes to jail for life.

This guy tells me that my Uncle would buy furniture from Rent a Center and just put it in storage. He said he did that like 3 times. This is not a lie. My Uncle does shit like that. And it's also why I would NEVER give him money. He did it when they won the lottery. So this story is completely plausible.

Now it's possible my Uncle is doing all this shit and doesn't remember. But because that guy has done time, I know they wont give him the benefit of the doubt.

My guilt meter is pegged slightly less now, because I can't imagine how mad I would be if I was sending him money and he was giving it away to another woman. All of this is super fucked up.

Thursday, July 01, 2021