Yesterday was the first day Mr S. got to interact with my Uncle. I've been trying to make this trip not suck for him(my husband), and he's working on a VR project remotely anyway.
After we get back to the airbnb he says to me - The only difference between your Uncle and David Lynch is talent. (Because my Uncle has a bit of the dimentia now - which has gotten markedly worse since my Aunt passed.
He says - I could watch this movie if done right. Then he says - if David Lynch got dimentia..... how would anyone know?
And I thought that shit was super funny because it's true. Also, after we left my Uncles place my husband looked completely stunned. I'm like - are you doing okay? He says - yeah. It's one thing to hear you describe this stuff, but seeing it first hand is a different story. I just laughed because I'm on like day three or four now. I'm past that stage.
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Hello She Said, you cannot save everyone. Let the State take responsibility for your Uncle. If you begin accepting any responsibility, eventually, they will be asking you for money and there will never be enough money. Your Uncle made this decision for you long ago, your Aunt has passed and it is time for you to take care of you and Mr S.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind comment Jeff. I think that is where things are going at this point. He will just try to ruin me and not give a fuck about it.
ReplyDeleteI've been screwed like this, but I could afford it at the time.
ReplyDeleteI have a close relative who fucked up her life pretty hard and really worked at it. Everything was always someone else's problem when it came to her, extending as far as her husband who she really fucked over, and so she wound up in a rest home due to her age and condition, which I think was most of the reason initially why any of us felt sorry for her.
I wasn't the only family member who got involved, but I was the only one with deep enough pockets to absorb even part of the damage she was creating, as I'd set her up in a private facility in Florida which I was paying for at first.
The only good thing that came out of that was that it reduced the damage done to her now ex-husband, who was a decent man who didn't deserve my relative trying to put him under a bridge.
But very typical stuff that would happen involved bureaucratic screw-ups she'd help initiate that would require my flying into Jacksonville and/or Tallahassee to deal with said screw-ups, often needing to throw thousands of dollars of cash at improving the speed of paperwork so these things would be dealt with decisively and without further blowback.
When what happened in Washington State happened, I moved to Miami in part so I could be closer to deal with what I can very charitably call "shit".
That turned out to be a huge mistake, because being under the same state legal system made it easier for the state to screw with me.
This I never talked about, because as you say, there's a huge guilt angle, plus for a while I could afford it even though it was like having a dozen CQR anchors hanging off the ass end of the boat.
Eventually it was obvious this was going nowhere, that I would remain on the hook for this stuff, that the costs would increase, that I would continue to be terrorized, and so I conspired with some doctors to have her dealt with through the Baker Act.
I am not terribly proud of this, because once again, that huge guilt angle.
But it stopped the crazy so that the only remaining crazy amounted to one former employee who eventually found my Miami arrangements and decided he'd try to locate me in Northwest Florida.
Because I didn't want to deal with that person in the same way, I took a trip for a while to somewhere I was familiar with, losing the trail deliberately in Nassau. Then I let someone with a law angle deal with the problem so it could be de-escalated.
However, it did not stop the ongoing "being on the hook" for certain things, and so the financial drain was never going to end because the state and the rest home could find all sorts of convenient ways to continue to stick me with the bills.
I could have moved to another state, but I counted twenty-two states that had laws that would allow for this money to be extracted from me even after moving, and there was still the risk of the others allowing a case to proceed under exceptional circumstances (as in one state scratching another state's back).
So I obtained citizenship in not one, but three different countries and helped out one of them by accepting an emergency role in order to make sure that they'd survive the natural disaster and The Rona, all while filing the paperwork that was grinding through slowly to become a permanent expat.
ReplyDeleteThis initially earned me a stern rebuke from the USG and eventually led to loss of citizenship because I'd violated US law by becoming in effect a foreign diplomatic official.
But as for my initial mistake, it was in helping out a relative who was clearly hell-bent on ruining me, and the core of that initial mistake was in getting involved financially.
The only way I could get free completely was to renounce or lose US citizenship.
Now Florida can't sink its teeth into my wallet or my assets.
You have had no idea how much of a relief it is that I can't go back.
You also have no idea how much at first that it hurt that I'd left the blonde behind, but that's actually worked out over time as well.
I've also come to love Geneva, although I'd rather have a place outside it in a neighboring canton.
So Snarkie, how was your 2012 through 2021? :-)
Oh, and for Mister S who will probably appreciate this: imagine "The Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka as directed by David Lynch, starring "The Uncle" as Gregor Samza.
ReplyDeleteOr if that's a little too weird, try "The Castle" by Franz Kafka, directed by David Lynch, starring Snarkie as K ...
Yeah, "The Metamorphosis" would be better. :-)
I always pictured David Cronenberg as the director of "The Metamorphosis". :-)
ReplyDeleteGenuinely, when you first started talking about this story I thought you were evading taxes. I'm like how else is he banned from coming back? But yeah - I guess it all makes sense now.
ReplyDelete