Friday, December 03, 2010

I know Aunt Flow has terrorized more than one wedding, holiday, date etc...but I didn't know she was a jihadist.

I'm gonna tell you right now - I stole this line from one of the commenter's in the following article from the sfgate. I love reading the comments from Sfgate. They usually are hilariously snarky.

Anyway. Last night, I saw this tweet:

Female passenger subjected to pat down after her sanitary napkin showed up on body scanner. Read more.

I, of course roll my eyes, and think - who didn't see this coming? Except for men who seem to try and forget that women do in fact bleed from their va ja ja's.

I too would like to forget. You know the greatest thing about self checkout? Not having that awkward moment when you have to buy feminine products. I always have these imaginary conversations with the checkers.

Ooooh. You got that thing going on. I imagine the checker is saying. Yeah. I'm a bleeder. Whatsittoya? I think back. No matter how old I get, it still feels awkward.

This isn't the good part though. It was this sentence.

"She e-mailed GladRags, the makers of her flannel feminine product, to share her story and talked about how the TSA agent lingered in her groin area while fellow passengers, and a TSA agent-in-training looked on".

Honestly, this is where I became intrigued. Then mortified.

Intrigued, because I'd never heard of this company Gladrags before. And anyway - anyone who uses the word "glad" in any context of a woman's cycle makes me want to punch them in the neck. So, I clicked over to the site.

Then came the mortification. Oh yes. That is a word!

From the companies web site.

"Live more sustainably with GladRags washable menstrual pads and menstrual cups. We feature the Moon Cup, the Keeper Cup, the Lunette, The DivaCup, and Sea Sponge tampons. Reusable menstrual pads are comfortable and easy to use. Join our thousands of customers who have decided to make a lower carbon footprint every month!"

This is when I lost all sympathy for the woman. I was expecting a woman like some of my girlfriends who could literally move a canoe with their flow. Not someone who was so fervent about saving the planet she couldn't buy a disposable panty liner for the plane. While having a clean dry pad stuffed away in her carry on.

I'm sure TSA must know what the shape of a disposable pad looks like through the airport scanner. And really - I'd rather have them pull it out of my bag and hold it in the air to ask what it is. Rather than having a stranger groping me when I'm all period-ed up. Also a word. Google it.

I would destroy the planet for a clean disposable pad. I would.

And since I never talk about this stuff - I just have to gratuitously inject that a few weeks ago I "was shopping" and ran across Kotex U. Which are basically multicolored feminine products. I mean... you saw what happened after they started making computers in colors right? Who would have thought women would be attracted to colors?!


  1. Can I just tell you that this made me laugh on so many levels??

    First, reusable pads...ugh!

    Now my funny story.
    My BFF here in Germany only uses Brand X tampons. Of course Brand X tampons are not avalaible here. Naturally. So her mom came to visit over Thanksgiving, and was asked to bring a year's supply of Brand X with her. So, to save space, she unboxed the tampons, and basically lined her suitcase with them. Friends later pointed out that they might look a little suspicious when going through security. She was not searched or detained, so I guess someone figured out what they were.
    Anyway, my thought is that they would stop her at passport control to ask her exactly how long she was planning on staying.

    I though it was the end of the world when I first saw pads you could wear with your g-string. Now you're telling me that there are colorful tampons?

  2. First, reusable pads...ugh!

    Oh! The reusable pads seemed like a dream compared to the sea sponge tampons. That you had to wash out every 4 hours and reuse.

    I'm trying not to judge - but, I'm totally judging!

    Anyway, my thought is that they would stop her at passport control to ask her exactly how long she was planning on staying.

    Hahahah. Maybe they just thought she was a good bleeder.

    Now you're telling me that there are colorful tampons?

    I'm thinking it must just be the applicators. Or else they had a whole PR department trying to figure out what red and blue make.

  3. Just...well...ewwww.

    I mean, the Keeper Cup? {{hurrrkk}}

    Keep it for what? Scrapbooking?

    I'm sorry, but "reusable" and "menstrual" simply should NEVER be used in the same sentence. Ever.