Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Life gives you warning signals all along the way.

There is this place I go to for cheese steak sandwiches. It really is the best place on earth. Yet - I never leave there feeling more afraid.

You see... the patron's are big people. Nice people, I am sure. Not your average run of the mill big people. I'm not judging. I'm only saying my brain only screams at me - don't come here too often.

The same thing happens at this supermarket I go to. I call it the old people super market. I really hate the place. Even old people Wednesday. Which I try to avoid.

They bus in the old people from the assisted living places. Have you ever tried shopping when the only patrons, are old? It makes me go nuclear in my head. It's like they have never seen these products before. And, they all have these assisted walking aids that block half the isle. SupermarketSUV's. Not only that- they stalk you. I'm happy to let them take as much time as they want to buy stuff. I will just go to another isle. But, oh no.

No matter what isle you escape to they manage to follow you there. You can't get them to move out of the way so you can grab some sour cream. But, oh they can sure speed walk to whatever isle you want to be on.

This place also scares the shit out of me. I always leave saying to myself - You better stand up straight. I just don't like the idea of living the rest of my life with my chin stuck to my boobs because I can't hold my head up.

I'm telling you. Life lets you know what your suppose to do. You just have to listen.


  1. Hahaha! Big people to scare you skinny, and old people to give you incentive to exercise and keep your back straight. Now there's wisdom. The supermarket full of geriatric hordes is the funniest description of the most irritating shoppers I've ever read! *snicker* My head would go all 'splody too.

    I don't have any helpful advice for the cheese steak sandwich calorie-trap place; but why don't you go shopping during the supermarket's off-hours when the old folks are safely tucked away in their nursing homes? I mean, may as well have something good come out of all the freakin' insomnia, right?

    Then again, your readers would miss out on fun posts like this one.

  2. It is the most logical solution. To shop at night. Although probably not great in trying to spin my brain down. I mean, the place has to be filled with misfits like me at that time of night. I'd never get any sleep.

    The sad thing is - I could just shop at another store. This one is the second closest to my house. The first closest, has a meat department that smells up the whole store and queebs me out. If I just chose to travel further, I could avoid these traveling hoards of humpbacks.