Thursday, March 19, 2020

Murphy's law.

After imploring people to stay healthy at all costs - I had a coffee table accident two days ago. I'm fine. I'm fine. I was able to mow two lawns today. That's how you know I'm really fine.

Normally this would not be a story. I've just never had a roaming bruise before. It's an example of how doing nothing might send you to the clinic. I was simply getting off the couch and my power cable was wrapped around my leg apparently, and I jammed my foot into a coffee table. Still not a story.

The thing that makes it unusual, is yesterday this started out with a bruise about the size of a lime by my two smallest toes. Throughout the day yesterday it kept expanding. A day after the accident. First one toe then two. It also kept creeping up the arch of my foot. Last night it looked pretty crazy. Very purple. But I could walk on it. It just looked way uglier than it was.

This morning I woke up and it looked 50% better! I'm feeling awesome that I don't have to visit a clinic.

Then I decided to go out to see if I could find more zinc. Which means I had to put shoes on. A little like stuffing a sausage into a shoe. But I could do it - so I still think it's fine.

Now some of the purple is returning near my toes. It's even bruised on the underside which is pretty impressive even for me!

Once I was taking a pictures in the vineyards and was using a rock to get elevation. I'd tested the rock before I stood on it - but as soon as my full body weight hit it - the rock rolled and I fell into a stump that held the grape wires. It landed right in my sternum. Thankfully it did not have a point or else I would have died right there. Not even being dramatic.

It's still funny because I could have fallen 358 degrees in any direction. But I had to fall the one way that could have killed me.  It took me about a month before I could take a deep breath.

Be SUPER careful people. And don't make fun of my Fred Flintstone feet.


  1. Capital of Texas RefugeeThursday, March 19, 2020 7:04:00 PM

    "Occasionally, Morton's toe can be severe enough that the third toe also appears longer than the first."

    My typical foot accident while in bare feet involves slamming my second toe into something hard that's also sharp in some way, and so I've had fun that involves removing my fucked up toenail and wrapping my toe for a few months.

    "Doesn't that hurt when you do that?"

    That's the question that gets asked when someone watches me do it with minimal anesthetic, and yes, it hurts like a motherfucker, but doing that lets the toenail grow back in a way where I can manage the damage and prevent infection.

    This has happened enough that I no longer even go to a regular doctor for this.

    When I'm not having to rip out one of my toenails, I've also done what you've done, and it also hurts like hell, but at least it heals most of the way in a few days.

    BTW, if those toes are super crampy after doing that and you're doing the zinc thing, adjust your magnesium and calcium upward a bit and that'll probably stop.

  2. Lolz, I a machete incident last week and am nursing a very badly cut finger. No stiches, but did remind me of the same thing. Would be a shame to do something dumb and end up in the hospital for it. DF

  3. Ouch!

    Take a look at red light therapy. A lot of articles on PubMed that discuss positive effects to skin, muscle aches, hair, etc. I got interested in this last year and this study is what got me started:!po=46.5517

    Search for "Controlled Trial to Determine the Efficacy
    of Red and Near-Infrared Light Treatment in Patient Satisfaction, Reduction of Fine Lines, Wrinkles, Skin Roughness, and Intradermal Collagen Density Increase" if the link doesn't work.

    Although you are likely a loooooong ways from needing it, take a look at the before/after pictures of the woman in figure 3 of the study above. Quite remarkable results.

    I broke my foot last week (5th metatarsal) and I started using my red light 20 minutes two or three times per day. Swelling was gone in two days and the bruising is almost completely gone. Wearing a boot and the surgeon said I have a good chance at avoiding surgery (will know next week on the follow-up, but it will take a lot of convincing to get me to have it done with the virus picking up)

    My light is a cheapie LED bought off Ebay. Search for "ABI LED Light Therapy Bulb, 660nm Deep Red & 850nm Near Infrared Combo 54W Class" and "12' Hanging Lamp Cord for Chinese Wedding Paper Lantern, Light Pendant, IQ Lamp".

    Seems to work for aches and pains pretty well. There does seem to be a "U" shape curve with regards to dosing, so I would be careful not to overdo it.

    You can spend a lot of money on these lights - over $100k for one of the Thor tanning bed sized.

    On the doom and gloom front, schools, bars, restaurants, etc. are closed due to the beer virus. Over 40 cases identified so far. We will see if these drastic measures were necessary in a month or so.


  4. Capital of Texas RefugeeThursday, March 19, 2020 8:10:00 PM

    Welcome to the Prison California
    Such a quiet place
    Such a quiet place
    There's plenty of room
    at the Prison California
    Your governor's found his fear
    With him you're all stuck here



    Pleasant dreams, fascist governor of California! :-)

  5. One of the Asian people I read on twitter said something to the effect - the domesticated bird will not leave the cage even when the door is left open. That is California.

    Its kinda funny we are all walking wounded. Davis - don't play with machetes now. Chill man.

  6. But what can they even do about it? Just tell me to stay off it?

    I come from poor stock. Once when I was living in Soquel (by Santa Cruz) we lived on this giant hill. I would ride my bike down it fast enough that tears would stream from my eyes. Once I buffed it and wound up with asphalt in my hip for a couple of months. Road rash is ~so~ painful. I still have a scar the size of toddler fist on my hip. We didn't go to the doctor!

    I do have good insurance now... but it's not like they are going to be able to do anything about it.

  7. Capital of Texas RefugeeFriday, March 20, 2020 8:49:00 PM

    "... the domesticated bird will not leave the cage even when the door is left open ..."

    The saying in Japanese is a little different.

    Paraphrased into English: leave the cage door open so the caged bird will fly back.

    That is why it is foolish to keep the cage door closed.