Wednesday, March 25, 2020

I found out today that you can't really use the excuse you "have things to do" to get off the phone right now.

I have a girlfriend who will literally try to torch four hours of my day if I let her. And as I was rolling that out - I realized that is not a thing. We are all trapped in our houses.


  1. We are all here... it's a tough time for a guy who's been telling his wife (for years) that he'd get to "it" when he has some time. :-)

  2. That's hilarious,

    I think I under appreciated how funny people can be in a crisis.

  3. Wait... you mean some people don't always have Things To Do when they're at home?

  4. Eric - there aren't many rules right now. I had cake for dinner two days ago because I'm an adult.

  5. Holy crap! There is a cake god? I might be into praying for that.

  6. wait, you mean cake for supper isn't supposed to be?? dammit, next you're going to tell me no cake for breakfast!!

    my FB feed is all memes about this, cause humor, otherwise I'm going to lose it at the next jackass who complains about the lack of TP

  7. OMG Ruth. That is a genius idea. Maybe I will start drinking for breakfast too. I always wanted to be that old person that was day drinking. I always had to be responsible, so it's never really been my thing. But maybe I will speed that dream up.

    It's going to be funny when we emerge because we will have all let ourselves go. None of us even dress ourselves anymore, and we will all look like we just woke up from a bender.

  8. "Maybe I will start drinking for breakfast too."

    Our daughter came down to visit us this past weekend and we were sitting out in the sun enjoying the weather and an acquaintance from across the street came over to talk. "I just haven't been able to get anything done" he complained. "How are you doing with what you have to do?" (We have a retail store and also sell on most of the online sites. He is almost 70 and while he doesn't have a "job" he sells on ebay and other selected places.) At the time, we could be open with less than 10 customers.

    After a while, I went inside to post some stuff leaving them to talk.

    My wife came in about 30 minutes later. Apparently when our neighbor had had his knee replaced, he didn't like the feeling the prescribed painkiller gave him. (very understandable). So he took up smoking dope again. (after a 40-year break). He was smoking after breakfast and then all afternoon. And claimed he couldn't figure out just why he couldn't finish projects?

    uh huh.

  9. It's somewhat funny that we all are acting like we are having our rock bottom moment. I'm not going to claim I have never waked and baked.......but you try to limit it so you can be responsible. Now we are all like - what difference does it make?

  10. Capital of Texas RefugeeSaturday, March 28, 2020 8:27:00 PM

    "... like we are having our rock bottom moment ..."

    Oh, this doesn't hurt at all like taking a round from an AK-47.

    We are nowhere near rock bottom yet.

    Doug Stanhope's hilarious right now, but he's smart because he understands that with this lockdown on public events, unless he sells some funny merch right fucking now, he's essentially out of a job, and even rocking out in a place like Bisbee, Arizona costs a little bit of money.

    And yet Doug Stanhope can laugh at this and say, oh, wait, I had a scenario just like this shit back a few years ago in one of my acts, and in fact, here's the damn YouTube video of it.

    He really needs to cut back on the cigarettes and increase the amount of booze and blow, at least in my opinion: nicotine's murderous when it comes to this pathogenic nastiness, and the cost of Niagen to try to offset it is too beaucoup for a lot of people.

    I'm waiting for the inevitable though ...

    "Hi, I'm Doug Stanhope, and that's why I'm sick."

    I bet he could pay the bills if he just does a few sick-ass PSAs. :-)

    I know Dave Chappelle will have his own version.

    "You know why I can play a sold-out empty theatre? It's because my kind of comedy is INFECTIOUS."

    "Yeah, I'm gonna have a half gallon of Purple Drank on stage here now, that's my comfort drink for all you people watching at home ..."

    "Nobody's paying me to do this shit, but I've got shares in Robitussin."