When you give it all you've got.

Life never, ever tires of screwing with me. It must find me entertaining. And it's times like this that I wished I believed in god - so I could cream f-u@! Don't you see how hard I work to do the right thing?

So, we took Saffron in today to the specialist. She does indeed have primary glaucoma. Which sucks on so many levels. One, she is so sweet and doesn't deserve this. Two, she can't be bred - and yet has all those qualities that you want in a pet. No we aren't breeders. We've neutered all our rabbits. But, when they pass - the thought always crosses our minds that it might have been nice to have some of the traits we loved so much. Saffron is up in the top 2 of those traits. Three - since it is an inherited thing, getting another from the same parent line comes with the possibility of the same. Also screwing up the idea of getting a pet with the same traits.

We did like the Veterinary Eye care place in San Carlos. The place was clean. Not next to a Chinese food restaurant. Modern. All the things we like in a vet. However - after we got the diagnosis. We asked about having the eye removed. Absolutely not = they said. She can still see. Yes, we know she can see - but there is a 100% chance the eye will die and it would need to be removed, right? Yes, but we aren't going to remove a seeing eye for your convenience.

Which is somewhat problematic for me. Okay - not somewhat. Really problematic. Now I know that most people don't take good care of their rabbits. Rabbit owners have to fight the bias that they aren't neglecting the pet. Some of that is completely warranted. Some isn't. Despite your best efforts, they hide things until they can't hide them anymore. No matter how hyper actively vigilant you are. And let me say - this eye still looked pretty damn good!

So, I understand where she was coming from. But, what does it even matter if it was for our convenience or not? If it was for convenience - most people would neglect the medication. Which would result in the eye swelling enough and possibly rupturing. Resulting in the eye needing removed anyway. Lets not even mention the last minute panic of trying to find a qualified rabbit vet. How for arguments sake is that better than just removing the eye now? There isn't any way of getting around that this eye will be removed. Now, later. Without medication. With medication. There is just no getting around it. And Oh BTW - we were willing to pay for laser surgery if it would have helped. How is that a neglective pet owner?

I hate the idea of taking the eye. Hate it! But, they eye is slowly dieing. And with rabbits, these things don't always happen at a controllable pace. Some days you wake up that the eye is just gone. Or effectively gone. This is just the way of the pet. The can literally cave in one day. I've had Paisleys allergies flare from nothing to a golf ball in 4 hours. That eye will loose sight. 100% chance. So why torture her for a year or two years trying to control the pressure?

It is just so odd. The first place we went to with Jane freaked me out because Jane could still see. Yet, they were completely ready to take the eye. I said "screw you - you aren't taking this eye. I'm fighting for it". And for three years I did. They never said the eye had an expiration. Now that I know it does, I want to do the right thing and just take it. If the other place didn't have so many creepy things going for it, I'd take her there.

I'm just really bummed.