Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Watching the world in slow motion.

I've never relied much on luck. I'm sort of a "you make your own luck" sort of individual. Well.. maybe that isn't so much true. Because my next sentence was going to be - I'm more of a "make the best of the bad luck" sort of girl.

So, I must believe in luck on some level. Just not good luck. Apparently.

However... the past six months have given me such an appreciation for a feeling that life is really more about the perfect combination of skill and luck. You can work your ass off and still fail. Or you can be lucky and not succeed to a great level. But, that illusive combination. Luck and skill. That is where the magic happens. And, it truly is magic.

Watching companies all over the Silicon Valley try to survive a retraction has given me such an appreciation for the hard work this place is made of. But, they don't just survive on hard work. There is a certain element of good timing, and luck.

Hell, the only reason I've survived the downturn - is somewhat due to luck. Sure, I had four backup plans. Because, I'm a disaster baby. But in the end, it was luck that I didn't make different choices. Because, I was going to make other choices. It isn't that hard work didn't play the greatest role. But, possibly not the most important role. I can't even take credit for most of my survival. Which I completely hate. I was on a different path last summer, and by luck diverted off that path. Life would have been so very different.

It's possibly the weirdest feeling to have. Because I've always felt if I worked hard enough I could fix everything. It hasn't always worked out that way. Obviously. That mind set just isn't reality for anyone. And sometimes has been torturous to my psyche. That doesn't stop me. I've always had that ingrained feeling. Maybe at some other point I'll elaborate on it more. Just not now.

So to see a part of your history chalked up to luck is disconcerning for me. But, you can't see into the future. With the information I had at the time, those choices seemed good. Then the world changes so rapidly, and before you can react, you fall into a safe pocket. Sort of like a tornado. All the houses around yours get destroyed, and yours is completely fine. I don't know if that analogy fits into luck and skill. But, lets pretend it does. Because that's all I got.

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