Thursday, April 01, 2010

It should be simple.

I can't even believe I'm going to talk about this here. I guess it is sort of a step.

The think I thing most people can agree on with me is - I'm a fairly guarded personality. I know the reasons why. I don't need to be analysed. Maybe eventually I will share it with you.

Some days it bothers me more than others. It doesn't always mean you can easily change it.

In one case - it has started bothering me quite a bit though. With my oldest girlfriend.

I've never been the type of person who says "I love you" casually. I know a lot of people do. I just don't. This thing started kinda gradually. A few years ago occationally she would tell me she loved me when our conversations ended. I didn't expect it. I mean, we never said it all the years we were growing up. We never said it later. All of a sudden she just started saying it. So, it caught me off guard. Sometimes I would hazard a quick "I love you too". But, a lot of times we'd already said out goodbyes and it seems awkward.

Lately though, she's been saying it every time.

A while back I was talking to Mr S. about it, and said - I should really just say it. Because, I really do love her. It just seems so hard to say now. I mean, I feel it in my stomach style hard.

I mean, I enjoy people. I can hug them easily. Yet, these three words seem really hard to say. Although, it does take me a really long time to love people. I'm not going to lie.

I know what the right thing to do is. I'm just surprised at what a physical response I get from it. Even though I do really mean it.

That is all.

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