Monday, December 22, 2008

Soon children. Soon.

When these big holidays hit, I try to go underground as much as possible. On a normal day I have a pretty low tolerance for crowds. But, it isn't like I can barricade myself in the house the whole month of December. So, out I go to run errands.

Of course - my mood goes down hill pretty quickly. I even start out with the mindset I just have to chill. You only have to put up with the old people for a little while, I say to myself. After the holiday they will slink back into their spider holes and hibernate out the winter. This however, doesn't help me.

I think the thing that bothers me most about the larger holidays is - it forces all the old people out into the public. These people have no peripheral vision. Yet they manage to thwart every attempt I make to get around them. It is confusing.

I finally get my errands done. I'm driving home. Praying that I actually don't get creamed by an old person driving a Cadillac with extra mirrors strapped to their side mirrors. You know. The kind of car that screams "I can't really drive or see that well, so I bought this gigantic car. If I hit you and one of us dies - it isn't going to be me".

The holidays are full of these people.

Anyway, every year this happens. And I sort of feel like an asshole for it. I don't really dislike old people. So, I'm driving home reflecting about my attitude. Trying to figure out if I'm just being ageist. Yet, I'm slightly in fear for my life. I come to the conclusion, I'd almost rather be driving around on New Years Eve with the drunk drivers more than these older people in the middle of the day. At least the drunk drivers I can categorise as drunk.

The older people give me all sorts of guilt feelings. Like I should give them a break because they are old and can't see. Then it hits me. These old people probably are sort of drunk. Honestly.

This weekend Mr S. and I were out having breakfast, and an older couple gets seated. Then I hear them say "could we have two glasses of Chardonnay". Now, the only reason this even piqued my curiosity was - it was barely 11:30. And Mr S. and I were at a Carrows. Which is kind of like a Denny's for those in states unfamiliar with Carrows. Who even knew they sold wine in the glass.?

When I ask Mr S. about it, He replies "they must be like Kathy griffin's mom". Who is famous for drinking wine the whole time she's awake. Lately, I've been coming to the conclusion there are a lot of old people like Kathy griffin's mom. Which is fine. What do I care? As long as they aren't in my way. Or on the roads. Just sayin'.

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