Friday, December 21, 2018

Last night I had to call my credit card company due to a duplicate charge. While doing the authorization process the operator says - here at Megabank we can take an audio recording of your voice to help you get through the verification process. Do you agree to have your voice recorded?

I said yes, but instantly regretted it. Now my bank can find me anywhere on the internet.

Mr S. thought they might just be telling me that they were recording the call. But the way she said it. She didn't say - we are recording this call. She said - do I have your authorization to record your voice.

So..... banks are doing that I guess. I mean, I'm not sure... but phrasing is everything.

4 comments:

  1. "YOUR VOICE SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE UPSET ... WHAT'S YOUR BOGGLE, FUTUREBANK OF NORTH AMERICA CUSTOMER?"

    I resent having to make a phone call for some trivial crap I should be able to do via E-mail, if only you had a better IT shop, better programmers, and better security ...

    "ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT CORRECTLY PROGRAMMED?"

    No, I am saying you are not even adequately programmed.

    "DO YOU NORMALLY SHOW THIS LEVEL OF HOSTILITY TOWARD AIs?"

    Only the ones that clock in at more than eighty points of IQ below my own.

    "WE SHALL HAVE TO REPORT THIS MATTER TO LEVEL 2 SECURITY."

    Actually, this was just a shortcut so I could get to Level 2 security, and you're still too stupid to understand that.

    "AND WITH THAT I'M TRANSFERRING YOU TO LEVEL 3 SECURITY!"

    You can't transfer me to jack shit because you're secretly a malfunctioning Coleco product.

    "I'LL TRANSFER YOU TO LEVEL 4 SECURITY!"

    And you've been out of warranty for how many months now?

    "LEVEL 5 SECURITY!"

    You don't have Level 5 security, you have a guy named Tom.

    "YYYYYESSSSSSS ... HOW DO YOU KNOW OUR SECURITY PROTOCOLS?"

    Just let me talk to Tom, metal mouth.

    "IF WE HAD LEVEL 5 SECURITY I WOULD TRANSFER YOU TO IT NOW!"

    Good, good, is Tom on the line yet?

    ...

    In the future, this is what you'll have to do to contact one of your friends who works as the head of IT security at a bank so you can plan for dinner later, all because the bank's security software blocks your E-mail. :-)

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  2. Geico offered to implement voice recognition authentication for me the other day. I said no.

    I really hate talking to robots on the phone, especially when they don't understand what I want and I have to guess what I need to say to get through to a human. Welcome to the 21st Century, I guess.

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  3. Oh. Alrighty then. I was hoping that I imagined it or misunderstood. So I guess we are doing that now. It's kinda weird because usually wind of this stuff gets out before implementation.

    Texas Refugee - You are saying it all wrong. It's securitaaaay. And No comment on that manemav?

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  4. Ok, I've missed out on that so far. I mean, EVERYONE records calls for "training purposes" and the like, thats been standard since before I graduated from college. But that sort of explicit "we're recording your voice for verification" warning, yah, ugh. More of a reason to try to do things local as much as possible I guess.

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