Tuesday, December 18, 2018

I guess it's not trendy to talk about the mallpocolypse right now.



I had the misfortune of going to a mall today. And admittedly, I am not a mall rat so I'm not sure how long these signs have been back up. I think the last few times I'd been to the mall I was surprised they were gone. And just like that - back.

The mall was packed. Packed like I'd never seen it. So it was jarring to see the signs back up. But also - I'm not sure all of those people weren't just trapped in there like hostages. All of the lines were long. Super long. So you didn't want to line hop.

The line was in had five girls in front of me. They were all buying some wine openers. And they were buying the place out. Each girl had three boxes. But that is just the side story.

When I walked up there was a guy at the front and when the sales person got done with him - he just walked off. I thought he was helping that guy, but one of the girls said he'd called break time. Didn't even say anything. With a line 6 people deep! And he was a generation older than me. Not a millennial!

One of the girls went over to the perfume section to be checked out because it didn't have a line. And she was successful, but got chewed out by that sales person because apparently perfume makes commission and they aren't helping with anything else but perfume. Seriously. None of the other girls in her group got through.

By the time I got to the front of my new line (about 30 minutes) I was like - you don't have to fold any of this stuff, just throw it in the bag. I'm helping her dehanger stuff. But that didn't help. Her reply was - we have to fold stuff in this department because we sell high value items. And I was NOT in a fancy store. That store has been trying it's hardest to go bankrupt for a while. So in my head I was like - the eff you say.

But you just can't believe how these stores never catch up with the times. And they were never allowed to die. But it looks like we get a second bite at that apple.







Oh, and my Sears hadn't gone out yet. I thought it had already died a long time ago. So that didn't help the overall mall experience. Doesn't make you feel rosey. But hey - you can get half off any appliance you want right now. So there is that.

14 comments:

Rob said...

I thought someone would have something to say about the malls all closing.. Turning them into housing in some places, tearing them down & putting up housing in others.

Looks like they store new electric cars in the parking lots in your neighborhood! :-)

she said: said...

Well... that guy is kinda a rent squatter. But it's not just my area. I saw they were storing them at Toy R Us parking lots in other states. I think NJ. And a big giant fence went up at a toysrus in the city next to me. Maybe they are going to put a Christmas tree lot there. I don't know. We won't know until after Christmas. Although... it is kinda late to get started on a Christmas tree lot.

Ruth said...

The problem with check out lines is everywhere. And all the retailers seem to have forgotten how to properly deal with it. My employer is putting in more self checkouts. MORE SELF CHECKOUTS! The MOST HATED EVER form of checkout in many cases. People would rather stand in line for a human cashier, and then bitch about the line, than use self checkout. But they'd rather put in more self checkouts than fix their staffing problems.....

she said: said...

You are pretty much right. And I am the queen of "get out of my way - I will do this." But even I mostly wait for a checker. If you get anything from the green department - chances are your self scanner will request help. No matter what you do. The person who overrides the errors are never around. Even checkers still ask for the codes on things like nuts. And they work there full time. I just write them on my hand to get through the checkout isle.

It's a really good point though. I hadn't even noticed my own behavior on them because they were once the greatest thing evar.

Ruth said...

I frequently use them, but then, I've run them from the cashier's side, so I know how to make them work. But at my place of work, we sell ALOT of products, all over the store, that requires the cashier's assistance to ring out at the self checkout registers. Our cashiers are pretty decent about keeping an eye on people and helping, but all it takes is one involved sale, and you can end up with 3 more people having to wait. I totally get the point that yes, now one person can run 4 registers, but that only works sometimes, even with the best and most attentive cashier. But fixing the staffing problem would require corporate to spend money on something besides making the store pretty, so yah know.....(I've been griping all freaking year about the fact that they spent several hundred $$ this past spring to re-paint and re-sign the entire store, indoor and out, and yet can't be bothered to replace the dead theft sensor system, or put up proper bird repellers in the courtyard, or.....)

she said: said...

I have to admit, your emp (and I have a (50% chance of getting it right) does ~always~ have a person manning the self checkouts. But it becomes sorta tricky when you buy something larger than a gallon paint can. Which is why I don't use them more there. Pretty much everything in the store doesn't fit on the scale.

Mr S. and I were talking about the checkout thing last night and he's like - even Amazon gets it.

I'm like - what?

Him - Yeah. They have all these physical stores now. Buy anything in the store and just walk out.

But truthfully I'm waiting to see how people react to those stores. I was just at a conf last week trying to figure out how the system works and they were being dodgey. Sometimes you ave to try all sorts of ways to pry out the information and it frustrates me.

Mr S. said that the reason they were doing that is probably because I wouldn't like the answer to the question. Otherwise they would just be fully out with it.

leaperman said...

Your mission, should you choose to accept it.

Go to The Gap and buy a pair of pants


https://jaznajalil.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/women-shopping-300x225.gif

Capital of Texas Refugee said...

Self-checkouts ... what I hate the most about them?

The Kroger Bitch, anything and everything about "her".

(In CA, this would be the Ralph's and Von's Bitch, and in WA this would be the Fred Meyer and QFC Bitch, BTW.)

She's bossy, bitchy, and she rats out how much I'm paying for groceries to everyone else within earshot.

Yes, I'm buying nice groceries, but I don't need to have the prices ratted out to the people around me. (This really bothered me in Miami where I was a bit worried about getting shanked for groceries in the parking lot.)

FIFTY-ONE FORTY-FIVE ... TWENTY-FIVE EIGHTY-THREE ...

ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS *echo echo echo*

ONE HUNDRED FORTY NINE DOLLARS AND NINETY-FIVE CENTS *echo echo echo*

Most people in the self-checkouts at 10 PM look at you wondering just what the hell you're buying.

It's over-priced meat, a Google Play card, and a replacement Keurig machine, people, get a grip.

So now the first thing I do when I encounter a self-checkout is that I find a way to turn the sound off.

I was in a Walmart where I did that and the person overseeing the self-checkouts asked me why I turned the sound off ...

BECAUSE THE WALMART BITCH IS ALMOST AS MUCH A BOSSY BITCH AS KROGER'S, AND THE KROGER BITCH IS A TOTAL C***

And with a huge smile on his face that meant that yes, one of the customers actually feels his pain, he left me to ring up my purchase. :-)

But elsewhere ...

"But but but ... we have to have the voice on for disabled customers!"

LIES, LIES, ALL PERNICIOUS LIES

I know this because I was in a London Tesco with something like thirty self-checkouts and they didn't have Bossy Bitch Mode turned on anywhere.

Instead, there were two people hanging around to make sure that the line (*ahem* queue) moved and that the people ringing up didn't have any problems.

In the event that someone disabled needed help, they did the most amazing thing: they actually helped that person instead of playing the "suck it up, buttercup" game.

It's amazing, the big chain shops should do that here. :-)

she said: said...

"Yes, I'm buying nice groceries, but I don't need to have the prices ratted out to the people around me."

I get to this point and think - even I wonder what you are buying. There are only like three things at a supermarket than can cost that much. Beef and alcohol. Okay - only TWO THINGS.

"It's over-priced meat, a Google Play card, and a replacement Keurig machine, people, get a grip."

Oh, okay.

That is crazy your stores have audio on these. I'd never heard of that before even in Crazy California. If I had to man those I'd slit my wrists right away. That kind of repetitive sound can get into your dreams. If you dream.

leaperman said...

she said,

Hold my beer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0kcet4aPpQ

she said: said...

It would be funny to play Pink Floyd while you were driving one of those marauders. I don't want to own one, but I'd sure love to drive it once.

Ruth said...

Orange aprons, not blue vests. And I'll be the first to admit that just because one store or region of stores is decent doesn't mean they all are, but at least here our cashiers actually don't do to badly at keeping up with the self checkouts. Oh, and ours don't talk. There may be an option to make them talk, but if so I've never ever seen anyone use it. Now I have to go stare at the self checkout screen to see if there's an audio option!

The amazon store thing has made me twitchy since I first saw it. Obviously chip sensors, and facial recognition, and.....ugh. On the other hand, I bet they don't have the inventory management problems that my employer does.....

Capital of Texas Refugee said...

"That kind of repetitive sound can get into your dreams ..."

PLEASE PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG

PLEASE PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG

IF YOU ARE DONE SCANNING, PRESS THE PAY BUTTON NOW

PLEASE PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG

PLEASE PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG

PLEASE PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG

PLEASE REMOVE THE LAST ITEM YOU PUT IN THE BAG

*sound of me thumping the weight sensor HARD*

CONTINUE SCANNING

PLEASE PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG

HELP IS ON THE WAY

DO YOU HAVE ANY COUPONS?

PLEASE SELECT YOUR METHOD OF PAYMENT

HELP IS ON THE WAY

HELP IS ON THE WAY

...

It's not just sounding out the prices, it's all of this other "helpful" stuff as well. If Publix were open later than it is, I'd tell Kroger to choke on my bag and the item in it. :-)

There are times when this kind of repetition can be fun.

When I come across one of those pedestrian crossings that has a button that says "WAIT", I press the hell out of it ... because that's just the kind of 'tard I am. :-)

WAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT*murfle* ... WALK SIGN IS ON FOR ALL CROSSINGS

In the future, some weak form of AI will be programmed into the pedestrian crossing button, and then it'll be a lot more interesting.

"HEY MAC, I GOT IT THE FIFTEENTH TIME YOU PRESSED THE BUTTON."

"YEAH, YOU KEEP PRESSING THAT BUTTON MORE, IT'LL WEAR ME OUT FASTER AND I WANT AN EARLY RETIREMENT."

"OOH OOOH OOOOOH THAT BUTTON PRESS WAS SO GOOD THAT ... NO, I'M NOT LETTING YOU CROSS NOW, KEEP PRESSING THAT BUTTON, YOU'RE MY BUTTON PRESSING BITCH NOW."

Oh yeah, I've got a stun gun, bossy intelligent light switch.

"OH YEAH, I'VE GOT CONTROL OF THE ENTIRE TRAFFIC GRID AND I HAVE CAMERAS THAT SAW YOU WALK DOWN FROM WESTLAKE AND DENNY, WHOLE FOODS BRIOCHE EATING CHEESE WEASEL ... I CAN MESS WITH YOU ALL DAY."

Well ... shit, OK then, bossy intelligent light switch, you win.

"LOUDER."

Oh hell no, I'm gonna keep pressing that button again!

"OH YES YES YES ... YOU KNOW THERE'S A CONTACT BURR IN THIS SWITCH THAT HASN'T WORN OUT YET AND YOU'VE ALMOST GOT IT ... JUST SIX THOUSAND MORE PRESSES AND ..."

Right, do whatever you're going to do then, that's way too much of a commitment for this kind of relationship, casually perverted light switch.

But I can send over a bunch of my 'tard friends to press the hell out of that button.

"WOULD YOU? THAT WOULD BE SO NICE ..."

:-)

she said: said...

I bet it's fun when you get four of them going at once.