Saturday, August 11, 2018

Phat shaming.



My girl needs to loose a few ounces. So on the bread scale she goes.

9 comments:

Capital of Texas Refugee said...

Obviously Mister S is not baking big enough breads ...

So I'll take this opportunity to introduce Mister S to the best bread anywhere, mostly because he should be able to bake a bread bigger than your bunny. :-)

It's called the "pain Poilâne" or the "Poilâne miche", and they can be made in sizes over ten pounds per loaf. It's a rustic sourdough bread that's made in a giant loaf and usually sliced into 1/4" to 3/8" slices across a half loaf or the entire loaf.

Weekend Bakery has an article about how to make a "Poilâne miche".

OH DID I MENTION IT TAKES A DEVILISHLY HUGE AMOUNT OF WORK TO MAKE THIS BREAD?

DID I ALSO MENTION THAT HAVING A BREAD MACHINE WILL NOT HELP?

Right, now I have. :-)

I used to have one of these flown in from Poilâne bakery in Paris to split between friends so I could have some of this bread.

Now of course I don't bother because I don't eat all that much bread, but I could be enticed to eat a slice of this stuff again ...

she said: said...

Well.... right now she is slightly over 8 pounds.... So... that would be a crap load of bread. And DON'T DARE MR S! Please I beg of you. Right now I'm at my bread to ass ratio limit, and I'm just breaking even.

How much does it cost to fly in bread? I mean, I get it. There is a bakery in OH that I would pay to have some stuff shipped to me. But they don't ship and my SIL refuses to cooperate. Probably because shipping would probably be twice the cost of anything shipped. And that just seems stupid.

Capital of Texas Refugee said...

Shipping was more than twice the cost -- a single loaf was only about 10 EUR but the shipping was usually at least 60 EUR more, so I'd order a lot and then split it among a half-dozen friends ...

Prices are a bit better now: I just checked and a 2 kilo loaf of their standard sourdough comes out to 40 EUR with shipping, and the bread is still about 10 EUR, so the shipping costs are 3x what the bread itself costs in Paris.

Try this out and see if it works: Poilâne sourdough bread.

But it's like your BBQ: it's cheaper to fly it in from Texas than it is to fly to Texas, and as a treat twice a year with friends, it's kinda cool to do. :-)

One use of it was to make "Parisian Cubans", as in Cuban sandwiches with Parisian bread. My thing to do with it was to make turkey sandwiches without the bacon (since I don't eat pork).

The ingredients: fresh turkey breast, Jarlsberg cheese, Hain organic mayo, Maille horseradish mustard, and of course many slices of this bread. It holds up incredibly well in a big sandwich press.

But this isn't the only thing I've dealt with that comes with high shipping costs -- there's a music shop in Mexico I buy from occasionally that prefers to ship only one way, and that's by UPS International Next Day. That's because there's so much risk of theft within the mail system and with any slower method of delivery that it's just easier to pay the high price.

It's insanely fast too, my order is usually sitting in a US Customs clearing area somewhere in Texas within about five hours later that same day ...

BTW, this bread lasts for about a week at room temperature and it'll last a lot longer if you freeze bits of it carefully ... so if Mister S can master it, you'll have SO MUCH BREAD ...

I'm also a bad influence in the worst way sometimes, amirite? :-)

But here, have some Mexican smog: Bostich + Fussible: "Temporary Paradise".

she said: said...

Not yet, but let's see how this goes. ;)

That song reminds of this band. You might like some of their stuff.

Dare I ask? Your Parisian Cubans are not made by ~real~ Cubans? And I don't know if I trust people who don't eat pork. Everyone knows how delicious that stuff is..... right?

leaperman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Capital of Texas Refugee said...

Uh, yeah, I also can't have cats anymore, and I probably couldn't even pet Grumpy Cat now, in case you were wondering ...

I can't eat even so much as one Slim Jim without it cleaning me out within a half hour, it's that bad.

And they're not my Parisian Cuban sandwiches, they're a friend's sandwiches (obviously) -- they smell good, but my friend knows that they're disaster for me to even have a bite ...

I found this out when I decided during a visit to a Polish grocery store that I'd try one of their wonderful looking and inexpensive pork roasts -- the reaction was bad enough that I wound up in the emergency room because I ate most of it in one meal.

At first I thought it was because of not having eaten pork for many years (when I was vegetarian), but it turned out that I may have become vegetarian because of exposure to this nastiness over twenty-five years ago.

As much as I'd love to visit Japan right now, between nasty pork allergies, serious shellfish allergies, and generally awful allergies to other fish, I'd be at risk of a trip to the hospital after every meal.

Even a visit to the nearby Japanese steak house cleaned me out within an hour -- I was not impressed by what my forty bucks bought me, that's for sure ...

I don't think there's any treatment for it now -- there wasn't one when I found out about this stuff.

When I travel in Europe and the UK, the safest places for me to visit are the Turkish restaurants that don't serve fish, because there isn't a single thing on the menu I have to avoid.

At least it didn't come from being bitten by a tick, or I'd also be unable to eat beef brisket, an even more unimaginable tragedy ...

BTW GOOGLE CAPTCHA ... I don't get why you've blocked out the word "EINGANG" on a sign that says "EINGANG VERBOTEN" ... are you afraid of people spreading "GANG" signs on the Internet? :-)

she said: said...

No way! There is just no end to the asshole things that can happen to people. At least you can still eat steak though.

My girlfriend has one of those bubble babies sorta like you now. He can't eat anything and has to carry around an epi pen. It's just so foreign that unspoiled food tries to take out so many people now.

Capital of Texas Refugee said...

Ah, yes, Parov Stelar ... I have a lot of his albums and singles, and that's some of the music in my "storage unit work-out mix" ...

It's on the album "The Art of Sampling" which I have on actual CDs. :-)

But what I was going to link first was even more odd than Nortec Collective.

Did you know there was a period when a few Mexican bands made shoegazer music?

Nona Delichas -- "No Nacimos en Diciembre"

I first heard this while I was driving through West Texas -- I flipped the FM radio over to some Mexican stations and this was a new release back then ...

The group could have been the Mexican version of The Sundays. :-)

Oh, yeah, and while we're at it: "... hideous towns ... make me throw ... up!"

:-)

she said: said...

That is pretty wild how similar they sound.