Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I try to entertain you.

I haven't posted much in the last couple of days because my blog traffic fell off a cliff. Much like the stock market. Even my Canadians left me. Yeah.. I have a big Canadian following. I don't mind that ya'll don't comment, but if you aren't going to read... well. That's a problem. It makes me not as motivated to write.

Anyway.. in the hopes my traffic will return - I give you this. A story about what a tard I am.

I'm not much of a sewer. Or a sewer at all really. This weekend I realised it is probably because I hate being constantly poked with pins. But, I needed to get my super cool patch sewn on. So I could use my camera bag. I'd just pinned it in place. I couldn't use the bag that way. You know.. because of the poking.

I pulled out the sewing machine that I'd bought for another project that I'd never gotten around to. Of course I lost the manual. Or misplaced it. Whatever.

Mr S. found the manual online, and walked me through making a bobbin, and threading the machine. Then came the spot where the thread from the needle was suppose to grab the thread from the bobbin. Which is where things went all sideways.

The diagrams made it seem like magic. Yes people diagrams! I know, who could be this dumb? It's child abuse that I don't know how to do this. I remember as a kid doing it, and - it was sort of magic. You just lowered the needle, and up came the bobbin thread. Nothing to it!

It wasn't working that way though. Lower the needle, no thread. For a half an hour I tried! We'd spent the morning taking apart our washing machine - yet this stupid bobbin was turning me into a complete idiot. I consider calling my aunt - but she's a crocheter. I'm not sure I know anyone who sews anymore. Half of them are men anyway.

Finally Mr S. goes over to Youtube and finds a how to video. Youtube is my new BFF. On the first try - up comes my thread. Like magic.

I now have my patch sewn on. And, it doesn't look bad. Now maybe I will get back to those curtains I've been putting off.


  1. Look at it this way. Not writing out of spite will lead to a downward spiral: no posting means fewer readers, which will lead to even fewer postings and then even fewer readers... Before you know it, you'll be thinking about "delete this blog."

    For what it's worth, Keyser writes for his own amusement, and doesn't much care if anyone reads the Lair or not.

    Virtue is, as Keyser's father always used to say (sarcastically, in his mind), its own reward!

    Put another way: Build it and they will come!


  2. Your German contingent is here as always faithfully checking. Plus I wanted to see if you managed to sew your finger TO your bag.

    It is posssible I suppose, though I have mananged never to actually sew myself. But my finger has been caught under the part of the thing that goes up and down that is not the needle. Technical I know.

    There is an animated icon out there that shows the action the needle and bobbin take while sewing. It's trance inducing.

    And you STILL have not sewn those curtains?!?!

  3. Dearest Keyser, I was looking at it more like a malaise than a spite-ing. I've grown attached to my readers. And, I don't grow attached easily. They are the perfect combination of sarcastic/funny/and creative. A hard combination to find. I wish them to stick around - because they entertain me. Yes, I'm selfish that way.

    P.S. You care! Your customer service skills are too impeccable not to care.

    Revealingly yours,

  4. MDG - NO! But it was surprisingly challenging to sew something in a circle on a one foot bag. I kept having to wad it up, and turn it inside out, so I didn't sew the two sides of the bag together. I kept having to start and stop. Yet it turned out pretty good. I only went out of the lines twice. You'd be proud!

    And - I thought that curtain thing would make you laugh.

    Thanks for the link! It is oddly hypnotic. Yet reveals all that the universe has to offer. Perfect!