Thursday, January 17, 2019

The low point of CES. Toilets.

I got to this area of CES and frankly just became incensed. I have been to CES for a lot of years now, and it was the first time I saw them with toilets. This is the kind of thing you see at Dwell. NOT CES.

And furthermore - I have NEVER seen dudes so interested in toilets! A woman would never in a million years walk up to a toilet demo and run their hands over the seat. I could have hung out forever and just gotten hundreds of dudes caressing a toilet seat. That never happens in real life! They don't even spend any time on these things! What do they effing care?

Also, I'm just super bitter about restroom policy these days. Can't I just have a public toilet that hasn't been peed on? If you cared that much about toilets - I wouldn't have a shitty attitude about gender neutral bathrooms!

Also WTF do you need a graph chart usage for? I know these photos are crap, but I was just incensed.


  1. There are not that many things that leave me speechless, but that is pretty up there. Where did you even run across that? So gross.

  2. Capital of Texas RefugeeFriday, January 18, 2019 5:38:00 AM

    "... WTF do you need a graph chart usage for?"

    Alexa probably rats you out if you sit on the toilet too long -- heavy cocaine users will spend a lot of time sitting on the toilet and not much going, so Alexa can alert all of the "authorities" likely to profit from that condition: doctors, treatment centers, your mom, attorneys, bail bondsmen, your mom, ex-spouses, ex-inmates, the Ex-Lax Corporation, the makers of Super Colon Blow cereal, your mom ...

    "I did not raise you to spend 4.18 hours of your life on average every day sitting on the toilet trying to take a shit, young man!"

    And if you try to uninstall Alexa the Toilet Rat, she'll call the cops as a "survival mechanism" ... :-)

    But next you'll tell me that this spycrapper weighs "the user" and knows which person in the household is using it at any particular time ... just so the toilet can send Tweets about it.

    Yeah, that's going to be some North Korean next-level shit. :-)

    BTW, did you know that you can't root the Red Hydrogen phone without invalidating the warranty? OK, sure, that's the same conditions for any LG, Samsung, or Motorola phone, but you don't drop 13 Honest Bens plus tax on one of those ...

    So even the 256 GB model in Awesome Titanium isn't a good enough buy for me.

    If the manufacturer would provide tools for unbricking the damn thing after tinkering with it, that'd be different, but this is really the electronic version of some shrink-wrap twit going on about how I've just peeled off the magical holographic seal that means I've agreed to the warranty conditions without actually having reached the piece of paper that tells me about them yet.

    But here's some theme music for Mister S anyway ...


  3. Texas Refugee - Mr S. never clicks through links. Not even mine. The only reason I click through your guy's links are because you seem to get I have a three minute limit. I will watch stuff longer, but it has to be pretty compelling.

    Dwan - that about sums it up. I find it super creepy and frankly I think Google is now sexually harassing me. It the new "upskirt".

  4. Google's fucking up my shit, that's definitely true ...

    Many times when I try to add a SnarkieRetort(tm), Google just says I'm submitting too many things right now even though I haven't done a damned thing.

    But we have ways to get Mister S to see our links anyway, moohahahahaahahahaha.

    Oh, and Google? You're too stupid to know the difference between a bus and a UPS truck, so stop giving me shit when I get things precisely right.

  5. They are crowd sourcing images for autonomous cars. Just look at the content they are constantly trying to get you to figure out. Bikes, cars, crosswalks, store fronts, busses.