Monday, September 17, 2012

When the internet sucks - it really sucks.

I am trying to get out my funny stuff before my mood goes downhill. I can just feel it already. And it's only Monday.

A couple of weeks ago my bottom lip started swelling up. I mean, really swelling up. This resulted in a couple of weeks of self diagnosis. The funny thing about bumps on the inside of your mouth... they all pretty much look the same. And the internet basically tells you the same things about them. Leave them alone, and they will go away in 3-4 weeks. Because that is usually what happens.

I was done at the two week mark. I found myself in the supermarket late at night trying to find medicine to get rid of these bumps. Which is a clear distinction from the ones on the outside of your mouth. Which they have a lot of medicine for. I finally had to book an appointment to my general practitioner who I thought would just give me antibiotics and I'd have to live with it slowly going away.

Turns out I had a clogged saliva glad, probably because I bite my lip there, and my doctor took out a full cc of whatever that crap was inside of it. Seriously, that is a lot of fluid. I was about ready to lose my mind.

The funny thing is, I found my doctor really well lit. So I took a picture of him. Sadly, because I've known this guy forever, I have to censor him. But look at how the light hits my spit in that syringe. Which seems awkward to say. I mean, who does that?


  1. OMG.

    The funny thing is when he identified it, he said - yeah I get those sometimes I just pop them with my teeth. But mine had grown so large that I needed a Novocain shot. So I ask him if he can pop it.

    He sits back and says - weeeeeelll. Now that it treatment and not diagnosis. I need to send you to a ear nose and throat guy. We went around for a few minutes and he finally relented and popped it for me.

    This my friends is why health care is so expensive.

  2. Huh, I thought he was holding a flame, like a magic trick kind of thing.

  3. Oh. It was a magic trick alright. I've never had such sudden pain relief before. One minute I'm in a dark place, and the next - OMG. All better.