Monday, June 15, 2009

Just like a cheesy made for TV movie.

I think it was on the 13th, when my newly found extended family was logged into her myspace page. So - I sent email there. I got a reply back almost immediately. My pressing issues were:

1. How do you know about me.

2. Why are you looking for me.

Mr S. expressed that maybe I was being... oh hell, I don't remember the phrase he used. Off putting.

But you have to understand - I really hadn't given my father really any thought since I was a kid. Other than the random thought of "I wonder if he ever thought about me". I'd never imagined what it might be like to have a father or what his kids might be like.

I know that seems unlikely, but I'm not even fronting. It actually seemed odd to me I didn't have those feelings. I can only attribute it to the fact I grew up after the time of hippies. My mother grew up when women's rights were just starting, so it was fashionable to have a broken family. Also, that is sort of what poor people had. Lots and lots of wreckage and broken families.

It wasn't until I started working in Tech that I noticed those people weren't like me. Mr S. thinks I didn't have a peer group who had great relationships with their dads. So again - I didn't really miss it. It just seemed normal to not have a father. Plus, the general feeling about fathers at that time was they were bastards. Who has fantasies about that?

Oh yeah! I want to have a bastard dad too. See? Not so much.

Since this woman was now searching for me, I figured initially maybe he had thought of me. My question answered. Yeah. We can move on. This left me with my other two questions. Well, as it turns out - their family didn't learn about me until after he died in 02. Which I must imagine is sort of a mindfuck for her.

Much like a cheesy made for TV movie, you unwind this huge plot line and get ready for the grand reveal, only to find another riddle. Apparently this woman is learning disabled, so I can't really get the information I want from her. She clearly can read okay, but she is full of half sentences. Words that don't make sense.

Hell, I'm practically illiterate myself, but it totally makes my brain hurt trying to parse her sentences. I know - welcome to your world. She answers my questions - but not in the way I want her to. Mainly, "exactly how did you learn of me". It's just weird you never claim a child, but somehow keep a record of it. So how? Two names written on a paper doesn't make the words sibling jump out. It must be something more.

This of course has made me back peddle on my certainty of relation. In all probability we are related. Mr S. thinks it is highly unlikely we aren't related. She "wants to get to know me". And, I'm not sure what I want. I'm not curious about him. So I don't know what purpose it would serve. I'm pretty sure I don't want instant made for TV family. The whole thing is just sort of uncomfortable.

6 comments:

MdG said...

Wow. WOW!! How interesting, and somewhat of a letdown.

Hopefully she's not loking to you to fufill some part of her life that is lacking due to his death.

she said: said...

I'm guessing she is looking for a kidney!

It is sort of a letdown. Now I have a whole effort vs. results dilemma. Which puts me solidly in avoidance.

MdG said...

HaHa!
Make sure you don't schedule an Australian walk about anytime soon.

she said: said...

Ha ha hah. Yeah, right?

Keyser Söze said...

I'm guessing she is looking for a kidney!

Yeah, that's precisely the sort of thing we all come here for.

But surely even a collection of half sentences should give some sense of what she's up to. Did the words "hug" or "miserable bitch" appear anywhere?

she said: said...

Ha ha hah. I knew it!

Well, we exchanged about four emails each. Two of her emails said she wanted to get to know me. To her benefit, she hasn't been clingy and has given me space. I'm pretty sure I would have completely tapped out on that. So, I don't know.