Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Why I'm not right in the head.

Should I feel weird that getting a new nail gun makes me almost as excited as buying electronics? By the end of these projects, even I start to question my sexuality. And no - I'm not into flannel. Or chicks.

I wouldn't at all consider myself into tools. But certain ones are kinda fun. For instance today - I turned into a tard because I found a magnetic level in the crapshack garage. I love magnets. Screw the level. Tools with lasers are really high on the fun list. And, now I realise I have a new affinity to pneumatic tools. We actually bought our air compressor from Alpha contractor a couple of years ago. Yeah - he's been in our circle a while.

Anyway - I used to be so afraid of that thing. The air compressor. But, now I love it. Although I haven't used it on this project yet.

It makes pounding in nails with a hammer a suckers game.

Anyway - for certain reasons I am much too tired to go into, we wound up buying a nail gun to install some tongue and groove floors. For days I've been excited in anticipation. Now I'm a little afraid of the thing. They still don't really make tools that fit chicks very well, and this thing is a monster. I've already decided I'm ditching the mallet that comes with it in favor of my girl mallet - which is infinitely lighter.

I wish the tool companies would realise that chicks don't need tools that are pink and have flowers on them. We need tools that are weighted for our crappy womanly upper body strength.

Anyway - this is my new toy.

After this weekend - things should get infinitely better for me. If this nail gun doesn't kill me first.


  1. ...crappy womanly upper body strength...

    Okay, this is for your next party (if things are going very slow). You need a volunteer and an ordinary chair (like a card-table chair or a straight-backed kitchen chair).

    (1) Volunteer stands right against a wall, facing it, toes against the baseboard.

    (2) Volunteer steps away by putting one foot behind the other (toe to heel). Repeat, so volunteer is exactly two foot-lengths from the wall.

    (3) Place the chair between the volunteer and the wall, back of the chair to one side.

    (4) Volunteer bends at the waist to form a 90 degree angle, resting his or her head against the wall.

    (5) Volunteer lifts the chair by the seat (one hand on each side) an inch or two off the floor.

    Now, tell the volunteer to stand up. The women can do it. The men can't.

  2. Center of gravity thing?

    Is it bad I though it should be a drinking game?

  3. Center of gravity, absolutely. At that 90-degree angle, most men have their CofG closer to their shoulders; most women have it below the hip joint.

    The brawniest guys will try hardest to stand up. Won't happen.

    I should have been clearer, maybe?

    Feet against the wall.
    Left foot moves behind right.
    Right foot moves behind left.
    Then feet together where the right foot ended up.