Wednesday, March 19, 2008

It was the end of days.

I'm not sure how on earth I managed to conjure up the strength to do what I needed to to today. At 10:00 I was convinced I wasn't going to get anything done. It was cold. And the sky was putting on a pretty good show that it was going to rain. Plus - I was oh so sore. The weeks grouting efforts and all the other stuff had caught up with me. Last night I couldn't even open a water bottle. I might as well have had stumps for hands. I've been popping Amino 3000 pills like candy. They are suppose to help get the lactic acid out of your muscles when you've had a tough workout.

Anyway - about 10:30 I realised Alpha contractor was going to put baseboards in today, and I might as well get my ass over there and do some touch up painting. Which basically consisted of another coat of paint. It seems every wall had some scuff or inconsistency. Well - that was my initial plan anyway.

When I get to the house, Alpha contractor is working on the fireplace. Some dumbass decided it was a great idea to put the gas shutoff valve inside the firebox. Which is a total safety hazard. And, I don't who would even be brave enough to put their hand into a hot fireplace to shut it off anyway.

After I arrive I find out Alpha contractor needs me to go to OSH to get a part. He hands me these two parts and tells me he wants a reducer. So I go and get a reducer. Only to find out Alpha contractor had given me the wrong parts. My second attempt ended miserably when I realised I had forgotten my credit cards. Which is really unusual. By the time I get back at the third attempt and the correct part - I tell Alpha contractor I'm at my maximum irritation level.

Have I mentioned how much I hate shopping? I do. I'm good for about two stores. Then I get progressively surly.

Anyway - skip forward a few hours. I'm painting. Alpha contractor comes into talk, and remarks how there isn't anyone on earth I would go to the store for - 3 times. Not even my first husband. (I'll talk about this comment later)
I laugh and tell him - he's right. I would go three times for my first husband, but he knows how to handle my shopping moodiness. Inside I think - "oh thank God, he finally understands I'm not happy shopping". All those subtle hints I've been making - like "I hate shopping" have been getting through.

So - a little later in the day I had asked him to look at one of the new faucets which was leaking. When he got it open he found one of the O rings had been nicked. It was then he tried to get me to go to the store a fourth time. This was close to three o'clock. And there is no more dangerous situation than it being three o'clock - which is normally when my blood sugar drops out. And I'm in a store. If I haven't eaten all day. It takes a precipitous drive off a cliff. Stick a shopping effort into that. Well... you might be taking your life into your hands.

Anyway - he went to install a toilet. He didn't have the parts. Install doors. No shims. And he's still trying to get me to go the store. Shims however I had at my place. So I run off to the house to get them. When I remember I have a goody bag of O rings.

Get back to the crapshack. Proudly proclaim - "one of these O rings is going to fix that faucet". Alpha contractor tells me about 30 times how I'm wrong. They are put on so they are a certain tightness. These are never going to fix it. I force him into placating me. And it fixed it! I then bragged about it for two hours.

I always have a special sort of pleasure getting something to work - when people so are emphatic that I'm not going to get it fixed.

Back to the husband comment. About a month ago was around the time I'd made a joke about Alpha contractor being like my second husband. Since then, he has really taken a liking to it. Which now that I think about it - I don't really get. On the husband scale he doesn't get a very good deal. He has to fix all my shit, and he doesn't even get any sex. From what I know about husbands - both of those things should make him unhappy. But - he seems to like the phrase.. so.. whatever.


  1. I have to say alpha contractor makes me laugh.

    Btw I don't mind shopping (don't fully love it) but there's no way I'd want to do any shopping around 3pm (don't know if it's the same for you there but our schools let out at around 3 here and the roads are *mad*).

    Yay, for getting bragging rights :)

  2. Yeah That makes me happy.

    For all my complaining about him - he is a good honest guy. It is a huge struggle from day to day, but he does entertain me in some way too.