Friday, September 21, 2007

J&J can bite me.

One of the things that has been a pain in the ass about my surgery is - my incisions need to stay taped up for three months. Three months people.

This is so the LEDS around my nipples, and the USB port I had installed in my left breast will look pretty.

Anyway... my surgeon told me that tape she applied would hold for the three weeks. I didn't believe her then - and two weeks later every segment of tape has needed to be reapplied at least 4 times.

Mainly because of "compatibility" problems. None of the tapes Johnson and Johnson sell stick to each other, themselves, or me.

So, if you apply a set of overlapping tape, the tape that touches other tape will not stick, and you are basically screwed. Even with consumer grade surgical glue. I honestly don't know who this shit holds on. Maybe people who don't move, or don't shower?

I'm ready to just use some gaffers tape and be done with the whole thing.

I mean, Mr S. has had to re-tape so often, he has come up with a new elective surgery. Nipples surgically altered to look like hearts, moons or clovers.

Well, some of that I just made up. Which has made me reconsider letting him perform surgery on me. But it does make an interesting visual. Patent pending, patent pending, patent pending!

In news of why I had this surgery in the first place, I must make an admission. Before I had the reduction I'd been seeing random chiropractors my whole adult life. The last 5 years though, I was going 6 days a week.

Now I'm going maybe 2 times I week. I'm not sure my back will ever be perfect, but for me its a big deal to just gotten more than 50% relief.

So when I went to an appointment a couple of days ago, I told my chiropractor I was almost starting to miss him. After all, you become friendly with people when you see them that often.

This is what he said to me. "We will get you through this period and you'll be back on schedule". Insinuating that after I was healed from my surgery I would resume my old schedule of 6 days a week.

It was at that moment I realised my chiropractor had no fucking clue as to why I had surgery, and he was trying to refuse my breakup.


  1. Does the tape cause any problems? I'm guessing it's not the same tape but if I ever have to give blood, the tape drives me mad with itching after a few hours.

  2. Nope.. normally I'm allergic to adhesive, but this stuff doesn't seem to be causing a problem.

    I think maybe the surgical glue provides a protective barrier. I could never have kept the tape on if I was itchy. I was already at my neurotic best.