Tuesday, April 24, 2018

The great monster update.

We were sitting in the living room and we heard that rustling sound under the house. Then we hear a cat growling. So we turn off the TV.

Me - is that a cat? We don't have a cat under the house do we? So we wait to hear it again thinking it must be outside. Then the cat does it again and we rush outside to look in one of those weep vents to see if there is a cat in there.

If it was a cat it would howl to try to get out... right? It's been like three days. And clearly it's nighttime here. That is exactly how all horror films go. It's dark outside so of course you need to go investigate. NOT. Mr. Say's that eventually it will start to sound like a baby. Which actually gives me a vague memory of the last time we were under the house and we were having these same discussions. We started talking about the creepiest thing you'd find under a house. And I think we decided on a baby doll would freak people the eff out. Mr S. suggested those roadside candles would be super creepy.

I wasn't planning on going in until the weekend and if it's a cat I'm gonna have to do a rescue mission. Gawd I hate the underside of houses. I don't know if I need to just throw a cat some food and hope it survives until the weekend.


  1. I'd figure a cat knows how it got in & would use that to leave, have it set up housekeeping would be a bigger problem.
    Remember the gift that keeps on giving is a pregnant cat!

    On the last house I had I thought about stringing rope lights around the perimeter of the crawlspace so those rare times going in would be just a bit nicer.

  2. That is what I thought! Plus I doubt the cat would have kept silent this long. But for about two full hours last night I wasn't sure if I had a cat under there. The howling sounded like ti was coming from the middle of my living room floor.

    I like the idea of rope lights. Yet if I had crawled under a house and saw that I'd be like - whaaat the eff? Thankfully squirrels don't try to live under houses because they take out at least a string of tree lights every year. I'm guessing your effort would be wasted quite quickly.

  3. And in Florida, if it's a cat, don't worry, the three foot long alligator or the nine foot long python will take care of it for you!


  4. OMG Dwan. I've seen that video before... but just for good measure I will start practicing chanting - this is not real. this is not real. The thing is - every time I go under a house I amazed at how clean it is. There are hardly any cobwebs or anything. Not like the horror films. I get down there and laugh at myself because it all and I mean ALL in my head.

    Texas Refugee - I feel like you are calling me soft. hahahahah So, what you are saying is that I should buy a python and stick it under the house? Mr S. suggested honey badgers at one point, but I couldn't figure out how we would remove it after it solved the problem.

    Update on the monsters - since the cat sound, there have been no sounds under there. No russling. No nothing. Maybe the problem resolved itself?

  5. Capital of Texas RefugeeThursday, April 26, 2018 10:41:00 PM

    Pythons are stealthy ...

    Pythons are quiet ...

    But if you poke at a python that's healthy ...

    You're going to have a riot!

    (and BTW, the python already ate the cat) :-)

  6. Well, as long as the cat ate all the mice first - then we are all good.

  7. Racoon was my first thought, at your description of the growl. Do you guys have racoons out there? Though like a cat, I'd expect a 'coon to remember how it got in and get itself out.

  8. Capital of Texas RefugeeSunday, April 29, 2018 7:28:00 PM

    Oh, you think I'm joking about the python?

    Miami Channel 10 News -- "Burmese python devours white-tailed deer in Southwest Florida"

    Miami Channel 10 News -- "Pembroke Pines police officer wrangles giant python on city street"

    Miami Channel 10 News -- "Alligator battles python on Florida golf course"

    And that's just a few stories so far in 2018. :-)

    But that's OK, because we have a secret British weapon who will clear our canals of this imported menace: Gordon "F******" Ramsay.

    Miami Channel 10 News -- "Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay helps kill 3 pythons in Florida, then cooks them"

    Lest you think I was joking about the chef's nickname, the TV show in question where this was aired was called "The F Word" ... :-)