Wednesday, January 20, 2021

She was a tough pony to break.

I grew up with mental illness. My mom was bi-polar. Sometimes she would be fine, others not so much. So, when people start acting crazy I have a particular allergic reaction to it. I feel the best thing to do is to just step back and let them be destructive. People are their own worst enemies.

So when my neighbor started acting crazy, in my head I was like - I see you.

Now I'm gonna bring you up to date with those trees. After she realized they weren't getting enough water, she brought someone out to increase the flow resulting in her sending water over my property. Not a whiney amount like whaaaa she's sprinkling my yard. I actually had to cut two paths to drain water off my property like a ducks back.

As it turns out, her property is higher than mine so all of her water drains onto my side. I quickly realized that she could never keep enough water there to keep them alive. So I just sat back. I figure this is a self resolving problem. Water is expensive.

First she starts watering in 12 hour clips. Every couple of days I regrade parts of my yard so water doesn't pool anywhere and runs right to the street. I'm happy to spend her money. For a while she was watering everything on my side in 10x20 foot area.

The trees weren't responding so then she started doing 20 HOUR clips. She was so happy about those trees she brought someone out to install uplights! She was going to pown me even at night!

She did about a month of that, and the lights have never come back on. I initially thought she'd only loose two or three trees, but she's losing ALL of them. It's super helpful we are in forever summer and now a millionty inches behind in rain. But no one not stupid rolls up in California with FIVE 20foot  trees.  That takes a lot of water. Her little instagram life got ahead of her.

The whole thing has actually turned to much better than I expected. Fortune really shined on me. I would have been happy if she just kept them trimmed off my side. But now I get my view back. And it's the funniest effing thing because sometimes revenge is best when self inflicted.  She spent all that money for nothing.

Oh, and P.S. she taught me a new way to kill trees. With water.


  1. Saw this one coming. :-)

    "I'll show YOU, neighbor who's complaining about MY trees overhanging YOUR property! I'll show YOU! I'm going to water and water and water these trees and they'll live FOREVAH!"

    So actually in a way, you set this up.

    "... she brought someone out to install uplights!"

    And there's Snarkie helping to keep the local handymen and building contractors employed.

    That's very thoughtful of you "during these challenging times"!

    And be sure to mark that on your new 2021 Rona bingo card, BTW.

    The 2021 card only has half of the phrases of the 2020 card, but that one's a hold-over.

    But back to your neighbor and the trees ...

    HI-5 TIME. :-)

    I'm not bothering with trying to buy a house here anymore because I'm still better off renting here.

    Somewhere else, that situation may change completely, but I'm not sold on staying in this canton because in many ways, they do stuff that's just as fucking dipshit as Miami-Dade.

    This is nicer than being near a popular rioting area in Antifaburg USA, so that's an improvement, and I did get out of my quasi-Airbnb rental situation, so that's an improvement as well.

    I think it's a good thing for me to slip out at a convenient break between all of the pseudo-lockdowns, lockdowns, border restrictions, and so on to look at investment property in Serbia.

    Serbia kept its borders open, and because of that, Serbia's going to be very tempting for a number of people, even if I may not want to live there myself.

    It's like all of those Americans deciding they like South Dakota even though it has somewhat bleak terrain and very tiny cities.

    "... millionty ..."

    You could make sell smokey mint chocolate bars that look like money with "One Millionty Dollars" on them and possibly make a fortune that way. Go the expensive artisanal route with mint from Eastern Oregon, chocolate that's been blended with coffee from Seattle, and smoked salt from San Francisco (which is apparently a thing now).

    Because if your neighbor has money to reverse virtue signal with this tree bullshit, there's apparently a market for this kind of thing with other mentally unwell people.

    Then you could eventually move away from your tree murdering neighbor. :-)

  2. "Somewhere else, that situation may change completely, but I'm not sold on staying in this canton because in many ways, they do stuff that's just as fucking dipshit as Miami-Dade."

    ~All~ governments are leaches. Thinking one is bette than another is folly. Better to stick with the devil you know.