Monday, December 10, 2012

I'm not the only one.

If you've been reading this blog for more than two days you know this simple fact about me - I don't shop well. I'm like a dude that way. I got it from my mother actually. She was the kind of person who would walk into a store. Ten feet in the door she knew if she saw what she wanted. She would power walk through a store. And she didn't care if I was a small child. Poor women didn't use strollers in that day. Kids walked.

I take this to a whole new level though, because I hate to inconvenience people. If I'm ready to check out. I'm ready to check out. I don't need to browse the magazines. I have whatever form of payment ready. I don't want to talk to the checkers. Chances are I'm in a hurry.

Other people don't feel that way though. They want to take up as much space in this world as they possibly can. Have a ten minute conversation with a checker. Sure why not? Oh, those people behind them. Eff them.

What is the point of this story? Well, since things are slow we've been doing repair jobs at the house. This weekend was a toilet shutoff valve.

I'm in OSH, and they had two checkers. 30 people in line. No foolies. It was all men because it was project zombie 30. That time right before the store closes and all the guys are getting that one more part.

I'm unusually calm, but all the dudes were not happy. The guy in front of me makes a break for the other line. Hedging his bets. The guy behind me calls the manager. Then goes into a full on meltdown. Which honestly I was loving, because this guy was saying all the stuff I normally want to say. I seriously thought there was going to be a mutiny in the line. It would have been the best thing ever. But I'm standing there with toilet parts and he's crying about not being able to get his Christmas lights up before dark. And he had to use the word sconce. Which turned him from a modern day hero to a pussy.

Me? I'm telling my group of ten that are clucking like hens to get used to it. This is what you guys wanted. There are just going to be more cutbacks. Hey! That is what I consider helping.

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