If fax machines could talk, they'd say - lose my number. Stat.

Right around tax time - my printer died. So, we went to buy one.

We wound up settling on a fax/printer combo. Mainly because the ink on the fax machine was killing me. And when I say killing me - I mean pissing me off. It was one of those machines that needed separate color cartridges. Even though it was only a fax machine. And I only sent faxes. Rarely received. But, every time you started the machine up - it would go through a cleaning cycle and use up all the colored ink.

Fast forward to yesterday. I needed to do some billing, and needed to fax a ton of stuff.

This is where I found out that my new HP fax/printer combo will not allow you to fax multiple documents from the glass bed, you could only fax multiple pages through the document feed slot. No big deal. Right?

Well the stuff I'm faxing (receipts) don't fare well going through the document feed slot. So I wound up having to send individual faxes. Around 20 of them. I only needed to send three faxes. Each of those faxes included five pages. The other five were resends.

This morning I woke up to the sound of the company I sent them to calling me. Three calls in fact, and an email. I wind up calling them and profusely apologising. And explaining why I was being such a retard.

Since I had waited to bill on the second of the last day I was able - I had to send another string of 30 individual faxes. Where I am sure that someone at that company promptly lost their minds. It's the last day of billing, so they are probably a wreck today. And I'm having to be a complete fup.

Something that should have taken me an hour max, took me 4 hours. And, I'm not happy about it.

30% of my brain is in conspiracy mode. They just want me to copy all these documents, so they will go through the feed. They just want me to buy more ink!

A funny thing about newly copied things. The paper is new, and so they don't easily go through the document feed either. The pages just all stick together.

Irritating. I would have used my old fax machine. I was trying to squeeze out all it's usefulness. It was out of magenta. I still think I might take a hammer to my old machine. Cause that shit pisses me off. Magenta, People!

I couldn't send a fax because of the color magenta.

Really ?

You know - if my own well being wasn't so tied to spending, I would welcome the whoop ass that is descending on the economy. Which makes me sad, because a lot of good decent people are being affected. Having said that...how is it that people are just now getting mad? Today was the first day I heard real anger. Why? I just don't understand it. I would say a year past due. But surely 5 months critically past due.

I'm sure people come to this blog and think I'm just bitchy. Which depending on the day - is certain levels of true. I think companies should appreciate customers and do their level best to provide a good service. It seemed no one else cared about that. So I just went with the flow. Ranting about my frustrations in my corner of the world.

I mean - how do we get to a level in the world where good service is a rarity, and mediocre at best, is the norm? How? And why does no one care about this? Oh - because everyone should get a trophy no matter how badly you suck? That might be it.

Now, I understand everyone is busy. I'm busy too. Occasionally I forget why companies make me crazy. Like today for example. I tried to send a fax. Only to find out I couldn't. Because my f-ing fax machine will not let you send a fax when the ink cartridges are empty. Send a fax. Not receive.

Already pretty hot - I run down to the office supply store. I'm thinking earnings are way down everywhere. So hopefully printer ink will cost a little less. Even on a good day in a good economy the prices for ink were outrageous. To my surprise, the price of one black ink cartridge is still 28 bucks. The price hasn't come down at all. Guess how I know that. Because I blogged this issue here.

So today, it cost me 28 bucks to send a fax. For which, I do not even request a paper notification. Hence - no f-ing ink needed. But, the machine refuses to work until I feed it a new cartridge.

Oh yeah. I'd be happy for these companies to get a giant train car filled with telephone poles shoved up their ass.

I said I would never give a dime to the Brother Company. Yet I'm not buying a new fax machine now. So, good on them. They got me again.

If fax machines could talk, they'd say - lose my number. Part 2.

Oh. You didn't know there would be a part 2?

Me neither!

Mr S. got into a little bit of a lather about the fax machine thing. Not because I had to slave over a hot fax machine for hours. But, because he knows this is something they could put out a software patch for.

He fired off some bad feedback. Which got pushed down the support loop, resulting in a call from HP this morning. I think their support just wanted to make him "feel" better. But it actually resulted in some interesting information.

None of the new HP fax machines are capable of faxing multiple documents from the glass. They must go through the document feed. Their old machines used to have this capability - but it was buggy. So instead of fixing it - they just dropped the feature.

Which is funny because it isn't really a feature - it's what all fax machines used to do. Additionally it's a feature that home offices probably use a lot. Home businesses are always faxing receipts. Which may not be the case in a corporate environment where pages are perfect and uniform.

The rep went on to say that the problem existed with driver and Windows 8. Which wasn't flying with Mr S. This would have nothing to do with win8. If it didn't work, it was because it was buggy to begin with, he said.

Part one of the story here.

A little out of my element.

I find myself in a really weird position of needing to buy a sewing machine. I think.

Well... first lets start with the fact I don't sew. At all. So keep that in mind. I never dream of sewing. Not even when I have grandchildren. I totally respect those who have the patience to sew. That isn't me. As a matter of a fact, it seems like a really bad idea for me to sew anything. But I'm going to do it anyway.

My regulars know I'm completely ADD. I'm either going to wind up driving the needles I've dropped through my feet, or sewing my fingers to the machine. I can just see it now.

The problem is I need some curtains hemmed, and searching out a seamstress seems like a pain in the ass. I don't even know where I would find one. Besides the obvious - the phone book. The job is so small, it hardly worth any seamstresses time.

But - apparently, curtain manufacturers don't think customers need curtains thick enough to block out all visible light in the size I need. So I'm forced to hem.

Normally, I would just lop off the bottom of the curtains and call it a day. But I think I may want to wash these things. Which surely will result in them completely unraveling. Then I'll have to go through this whole process again. And I really.. really don't want to spend months shopping for simple non-hideous curtains again.

Women must think god awful designs are the greatest thing. Therefore torturing me, because I don't really need flowers on every piece of fabric in existence. I also don't need to feel like I'm having a grandmother flashback with the weird 1970's materials.

Now I'm digressing.

So to recap - I just want a simple sewing machine. I don't need 80 stitch patterns. That is just 80 patterns I'm going to sew into my hand.

The problem is.. most of the really simple ones are manufactured by Brother. Who I just blacklisted 2 months ago. I'm never buying anything from that company again.

I have a fax machine from them, which apparently will not work without the color ink cartridges. It won't even allow you to send a fax.

What pissed me off more is the machine stops working when the color cartridges still have a lot of ink left in them. To replace all my cartridges cost me 75 bucks. while buying a new low end Brother fax machine would have been 100 bucks.

So - long story long... Brother may have a sewing machine a little more my mentally challenged speed.. but I'm not going to give them my money.

So I'm asking for ideas from my readers. I know I have some readers who sew, and I'm positive they will give me some really good ideas. You guys always do.

Some days I can't believe how many words it takes to tell me nothing.

I'm still sort of in refi hell. You know I went through that whole thing where the MERS database had my address wrong and this completely seized up the loan process. And I have one of those ticking time bomb mortgages. It doesn't reset until 2016, but it's the only thing I could think about the past 5 years. It's consumed every fiber of my being. I'm not the type of person to take chances on my mortgage. At the time in 2006, you couldn't get  a mortgage that didn't have a reset. I only got a 10 year because I had the best of the best credit.

Honestly, if my loan would have reset in the last 5 years - I would have been living the high life. My loan is completely conforming. So, I put 20% down, and wasn't doing interest only.  At some points it would have shaved almost 3 percentage points off my interest. However - the fear of the government losing control of the bond market wouldn't have made any of that worth it. As it was, that constant fear shaved several years off my life. No one in my generation has ever seen a world like we have today. Every day you wake up to something new.

Anyway. It had been a couple of weeks since I got my notarized docs in, and I'd heard nothing from the bank. So of course I had to call. Where it took 30 minutes to find out that they had paid off my loan, but I might not actually get a coupon book for 30 days. They can't tell me what my new account is over the phone. They allegedly will send me a fax. I'm not holding my breath. Getting any help out of a support line these days is like winning the lottery.

It's just so deeply depressing how dysfunctional the banks still are. It's like they don't want to get paid or something because they really make it hard to find out how to do so.

It is like a scab that never heals.

Last night my Internet connection started acting up. It was like I was getting throttled. Stuff was still getting through, but slowly. Really, really, slowly. I figured the problem was my virus protection. Sometimes when it wants to update - it goes a little crazy.

Can I update now? Now, now, now, NOW? It gets stuck in a bit of a loop until you finally give in.

So I tried to install the update. At two hours, I went to bed and figured it might be done by the morning.

This morning, both of the computer connections were still running slow. On my trade window, I could see the data stop, then flood in. Then stop again. Then flood in. It pulsed like that most of the morning. I'd already reset the router and the modem. So I figured I'd call Comcast to have them reset the modem on their side.

The automated message tells me they are having technical difficulties - yet the tech says - no.. No problems. She resets the modem, which immediately kills my phone line. Because, they are all connected. I already know this is the case. Yet it pisses me off every single time. My office has really bad reception on my cell. The land line is really just a fax line.

Things get a little better for a little while. I figure, I'm going to trust the automated message and just wait a few hours.

Not better. I call again. Still get told there are no problems. They think it is my modem, and want to roll a truck. Which pisses me off. First, I'd have to wait a day - but what kind of dumb ass company needs to roll a truck to your house to swap a modem?

I tell her, I can just take this thing down to the local brick and swap it out. Oh no - she says. You can't do that. They don't carry them. I'm sure I've done this before - I respond. I make the appointment. "Just in case". Run down to the local brick store, and sure enough. They won't swap it.

I get back to the house and realize my modem is still blinking. Even though it's been with me for 20 minutes without power. And I think - goddammit. That's right. These things have batteries that you have to let discharge. Sometimes rebooting isn't enough. I plug the fucker back in. My connection is completely fine.

Now - how fucking hard would that have been for the tech to know. Comcast always thinks they need to roll a fucking truck for everything. And to be fair - the guys who in the trucks are really good. But their tech support won't tell you if there is an outage like what happened two days ago. They tried to roll a truck on me that day too.

They aren't critical thinkers and can't figure out who is a dummy, and who actually knows even a little about technology. I'm not saying I'm smart. I'm not. But for shits sakes, I've worked tech support - you get an idea with people who you need to run a script with.

I wonder how much money they waste rolling trucks when the the support people just aren't trained well enough.

I swear, this is the time I have to find another solution. I pay too much to constantly be irritated by these guys.

Okay, enough gooey bunny stuff.

More bitching about how people have done me wrong.

Apparently, I have a never ending supply of stories about companies pissing me off, or flat out wasting my time. It drives me nuts. I actually am not a demanding person.

With customer service satisfaction at an all time low, and companies not being able to figure out why they can't retain customers - I offer the following.

Why is it is so hard to say these simple words. "I don't have this in stock - I don't know when we will get it". See.. its easy.

Instead a company would rather take the order. Tell a customer they are going to have the item. Make them wait and never get the item or have it take and eternity. Companies don't seem to understand the risk/reward system.

This is mine. If you tell me you don't have an item, I will probably buy it from somewhere else... but I will shop from you again. If you tell me you are going to get the item, never do after making me wait - unless you are the last person on earth I will never shop from you again. There are just too many vendors.

I also don't understand why some companies don't care why they are loosing customers, nor do they try to figure out why.

Here is yet another example.

My husband and I had been trying to find a solution to put shelves in a bedroom closet so we can stick the computers in there. I wanted wire rack (like these), because well, it makes it harder for dust to collect under electronic items. The shelves would be heavy to ship so we went to the only place we could find locally to make sure they fit our needs. This place.

When we walked in warehouse the gal manning the desk asked us politely if we could come back in about 45 minutes. She needed to conduct a phone meeting and she was the only one there. We were fine with that. Since the place is about an hour away, we figured we would browse some of the stores that caught our eye on the way in.

After an hour we walked back into the warehouse and exchanged niceties. She thanked us and asked how we were doing. We said "fine how are you". The girl actually said "well, I still have a job". Which should have been a warning signal, but it is only one of those things that seems big in hindsight. It did strike me as odd, but I congratulated her. What else do you say to someone who says that?

We picked out what we wanted to buy, and went to place the order. Now I have to tell you the words "do you have this in stock" are always the first thing that comes out of my mouth. For each and every purchase these days. They didn't have our item at this location, but it could be shipped from LA. Outset 7-10 days. Alright.. we place the order. She would fax us the invoice. I took it to mean later that day.. but whatever.

The next day my husband calls because still no invoice.The gal seemed surprised we would be calling so soon, but again says it will be 7-10 days.

8 days later still no invoice. So my husband calls again. "Oh sorry dropped the ball, that order hasn't even been placed, and we can't order from this company without writing them a check. The only person who can do that is my boss and he is on vacation for a week". We now realize why she is so worried about her job. She may work for a f-ed up place, but it is her job to make sure orders get placed.

This is the kicker.. when my husband calls to cancel the order the girl is like "oh, okay - click". She hung up so fast he couldn't even complain.