Wednesday, September 26, 2018

THIS is the golden age of robots?!

I feel like I went on this really long journey, and wound up at the same place I started with NOTHING to show for it. Not even a free sub.

Your new robot overlords are really just going to be an army of arms. That's all. I hope they don't get learn the black power fist. Then they'll all unionize. It's ridiculous.

For all the money they put into these things over the decades. The greatest advancement in robotics is just - WE MADE THE ARMS SMALL SO THEY DON'T KILL YOU? Makes me want to punch the sky. Robotic arms have been in factories for probably longer then I have been alive. I'm depressed. And for all the hysteria about robots taking jobs - I might need a second.

This one did have an impressive range of movement.





Yes. Robot arms can pick things up since the dawn of time.





Honestly, if they turned this one into a DJ - I might just change my mind about everything. They could call him DJ ABB. And it should play Skrillex.



And I guess arms are good at opening doors. But this is some iRobot circa 2000 shit.



Yes, we know you can still pick things up.





Briefcase robot arms so you can demo arms.





3 comments:

  1. Can't wait for the TV commercials in Redneck Country(tm) ...

    *obligatory delay cascade echo effects*

    SADISTIC ARM WRASSLIN' BOT SHOWS NO MERCY

    Look at all of the satisfied customers!

    *TV shows pictures of guys in the hospital with their arms in braces and bandages*

    NOBODY HAS BEATEN SADISTIC ARM WRASSLIN' BOT ...

    BUT CAN YOU? *cue dramatic patriotic music for the HOO-YEAH crowd*

    :-)

    ... and this dumbass thing will be even more popular than mechanical bulls.

    Count on it. :-)

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  2. Oh, yeah, DJ ABB ... a German Swiss and Swedish robot who loves techno!

    Let's put together a play list!

    Anthony Rother -- "Destroy Him My Robots"

    Anthony Rother -- "Hacker"

    Wait, what, we can't have two from the same artist together?

    Why not three then plus another bonus!

    Kraftwerk -- "Tour De France: Prologue + Tour De France Étape 1+2+3 + Chrono HD"

    Not disturbing enough yet?

    WE WILL FIX THAT.

    The Orb -- "Toxygene"

    Even robots listen to the classics.

    Gary Numan -- "M.E."

    "We were so sure
    We were so wrong
    But there's no one left to see
    And there's no one left to die
    There's only M.E. ..."

    The Robot Doktor Benway will see you now ... >:-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's a pretty funny and expensive game. What if some triangular shaped dude walks up and beats the machine? I think it could be possible with some of those smaller arms.

    ReplyDelete