Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!



Next stop - bitchopalooza.

Biggest non-event. Ever.



Last night everyone with a wall mounted television crapped their pants a little. Having said that... I've never found earthquake coverage so useless and annoying.

The quake was moderate for our area, but it produced widespread non-damage. That didn't stop every shut in calling the news networks to tell them there was no damage, and to give their life stories. Or sending pictures of the non-damage. Listen people. Having your pen cup tipped over is NOT damage!

For the record. I didn't have any damage either. Unless you count the damage to my stomach lining.

I'm going out of town in the morning. So now I have to figure out if I need to stick all my monitors in a safe corner on the ground.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Burn your own.

Remember when I was all pissed off about my car? I'd taken it into the shop to have the satellite navigation system fixed. They told me they fixed the system, but my navsat disk was damaged, which isn't covered under the warranty. So, I would have to buy a new one.

Remember all that? If not, read here.

It was 80 bucks (!) for a replacement disk, but since I didn't have the latest rev, you know they were going to try to force me to buy the current rev for 200 bucks (!!). Personally, I don't think roads change that much in a year to force me to buy the current maps. So they can bite me.

Plus, the disk had never been out of the system. The broken navsat system must have damaged the disk. We didn't even know there the eject button was on the navsat system until we had to get a new disk. So you know having to replace the disk pissed me off.

Anyway, today - Mr S. got the bright idea to see if he could read the disk from one of the computers. He figures if the computer can read it, he can just clone the disk. He pops in the navsat disk and he can see the files.

I would have never considered trying this. I'd have been sure they (Navteq) put some kind of security software on the disk to prevent you from copying the disk. But they don't!

One trip to Office Max for DVD+R DL disks, a little help from our HP dvd 1040e DVD drive and the included NERO disk burning software - and we have a working navsat disk!

I told you I wasn't giving Chrysler any of my money ever again. Thanks to my brilliant husband I didn't have to.

Can you believe they don't put any security software on their disks to prevent you from doing exactly what Mr S. did? Making a copy.

The whole thing cost us 35 bucks. And I still have 14 disks to use.

No one ever leaves the Tivo family.



A few days ago one (out of 3) of our Tivo's died.

So, Mr S. calls customer support to cancel service on that machine. Later that day I get this email from him:

"Man, have they got good salespeople on the cancel-the-service line.

First, the guy sounds just like "Kenneth the Page" from "30 Rock" (Tina Fey show). He's southern, and polite, oh-so-perky-and friendly.

So I tell the guy I want to cancel, and after he asks (politely) why, and I explain that our box is dead. First, he says "oh, I'm so sorry.", as if our dog had died. :-) Then, he offers me a deal -- for $69, they (Tivo) will send us a new dual-tuner series 2 box. It's not HD, but it will record 2 shows at once. We don't even have to send them the old dead tivo, just throw it out.

I told him I talked to my wife about it."


Since things are pretty crazy right now, Ms S. just got around to calling them back this morning. We decided that we will deal with the whole Tivo thing when we get back from our trip.

Since he was trying to cancel the subscription on the dead Tivo box, Mr S. got the "dont leave treatment again". But this time slightly more aggressively. First they offered him a deal on a dual tuner series 2 Tivo.(again) For $69.00 they would send a series 2, and we would just throw out our old box.

When Mr S. declined, they offered an HD box for $200.00. When he turned that down, they offered the same HD box for $25.00 less. He also turned that down. They then canceled the service on the box.

This is the slightly irritating part though. We are one week into our billing cycle, and they don't credit you for the rest of the month you are no longer getting service on that box.

I just want to point out (again) this was our third active Tivo account. We are still customers. Have been - since the beginning of Tivo time. They could have just credited that money to one of our other machines. But, they just absorb that month's payment. It is only around 5 bucks. But this is the kind of petty thing that pisses off current customers, and leaves a bad taste in the mouth of former customers, so that they'll be less likely to come back.

On one hand - they give you a sweet deal to stay, but if you don't - they give you a giant fuck you.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Coordination still has a little way to go.

I spent a great deal of time at the Anybots booth. As I said in my earlier entry - I'm seeing a great push for the elder care/robotic assistance market. If you are into robotics - this is no news flash. Articles are full of people speculating about this market. I've been to a lot of robotics shows however, and this was the first one that seemed very focused on this market.

I also think this is the most complicated area to capture.

Some large shift in size and pricing will need to happen, before this segment will really come into itself. Personally, I think the push forward in this technology will come from amputees like Professor Hugh Herr. Veterans of the war, and larger acceptance of people with disabilities.

I'm not going to get into a debate about rolling or walking robots.. because I just don't care. My main focus is the technology that drives the newer prosthesis will also help make things cheaper for the robotics field.

Anyway.. back to the Anybots booth. Where they were demo'ing their humanoid robot.





The robot is controlled by one or both of these guys at the monitors.

This is the bot trying to pick up a ball.










It did take several minutes to achieve its goal, but I think working out realistic thumb operation was the bottleneck.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

You will own a robot.

Today was Robo Developement day.

Even though it had an extremely small show floor, I'm glad I went.

Since the robotics field still is relatively in the infancy phase, you never really know what you are going to get when you show up at these things.

I'm not sure if it was intentional, but this show had an obvious theme. Robots will be wiping your ass some day. Okay - maybe that wasn't the intended theme. But it was pretty obvious the robotics field is trying to move more towards assisting humans.

Hopefully chicks will start getting into the field, because all men really want is a robot to get them beer.

Anyway.. lets look at the pictures. Shall we?



This bot was out of the Microsoft Robotic Studio Booth.





I didn't get the names of either of these companies. But, arms and hands were a big theme.





This bot was out of Willow Garage. Also see CNET write-up. Hopefully you can see the machine is doing the vacuuming.



This was from Segway. The reps appropriately arrived on Segways.



More tomorrow.

Interaction.



I'm still always a little surprised when I see people interact with machines in such a human way.



See more at Zeno's world.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Scattered.

Bet you all were wondering if I'd left on my trip yet. You were wondering. Right?

I haven't. But, I will be soon. Which is the reason I haven't been posting. My ADD is on 11. Normally it goes to 10. Okay... maybe the ADD is on 15, but who's counting?

Don't worry though. I'm not going to put you on hold until I leave. I have stories...but I'm just being pulled in so many directions it makes it hard to formulate a coherent thought.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Anatomy of a mortgage meltdown.

Readers..I don't know how I get myself into these things. But do you really care, really? It makes me have somewhat interesting stories.

So - my real estate friend calls me last night around 6pm, and tells me she thinks finally found me a house. You see, she and I had already viewed a house earlier in the day which I deemed "too nice". I told you.. I'm enamored by houses that people have neglected. Mr S. and I rush to look at the house.

This house happens to be right in front of my friends house. She thought it was going to be sold at auction, but after some poking around found it was going to be stuck into the real estate database and sold on the open market. But it hasn't yet.

This is the his-story of the house as I know it. It was owned by a couple. The wife had MS, and I guess had recently passed away. The husband soon followed. As is pretty common with couples who have been together a long time.

Several months back my friend told me that her neighbor had died. So the house has apparently been in limbo for about that long.

I guess recently, the family came and raided the house. Taking everything that wasn't nailed down. Leaving all the trash of course.

But, this is the kicker. The house was actually paid off.. but it had a small second mortgage on it. The second was minuscule compared to the appraised value of he house. Even in this market. I can only guess the Podunk family couldn't scrape together enough money to pay the second. So they defaulted on the house, and the bank repossessed it.

This is where I come in. This morning we decided to put in a bid on the house.

Later I get a call from my friend telling me this house was owned by Countrywide. I'm sure you've heard of them. They've been on the news for months.

I'm immediately in "aw crap" mode. I don't want to get involved in a Countrywide mess. I've heard the company is in panic mode.. and I'm just not into that. Even though my mortgage company pre-approved me this morning, my friend tells me that Countrywide will also have to pre-approve me.

I'm not really thrilled at having my credit run twice in one day.. but I decide to go through the process. I call the main Countrywide number I was given. Where I'm told "if you are pre-approved, what do you want from us"? They were very nice.. but they just didn't know how to help me.

I call my friend - who finds out I apparently need to call the local branch. So, I do.

Only to find out via recorded message the branch has been closed down. The recorded message refers people to another branch. Which I call. This branch doesn't know how to help me either. This was just an operations site.

So - I call my friend and tell her I give up, I'm not calling anymore numbers. She did eventually find the correct number.. but .. wow. This company is in some serious trouble.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

What?

Readers.. Mr S. may have won the tipping debate, but surely you will be sympathetic with me on this issue.

Last night, I started to panic about the whole trip thing. You see, we've pretty much decided to stay with Mr S.'s mom. Because it will make her happy. And you know I'm all about making people happy.

Yeah.. I know. Mr S. laughed for a few minutes when I said that too.

So, the whole sleeping arrangements had distracted me from something Mr S.'s mom had said in an email. I was busy thinking "how is an insomniac going to sleep in a twin bed". Do you know how small a twin bed is?

His mom offered her bed, but Mr S. decided it was too Oedipal. I'm Mr S.'s wife.. not his momma. Which is why I adore him.

Anyway.. his mother said the following:

"Remember I don't have cable but I get 3, 5, 8, 19 and 55 with some jiggling of the antennae....sorry about that".

I can see you all making that funny face and saying "what"?

It wasn't like I was planning to watch much TV while I was there. But it made me realise that I now have a lot of pressure to entertain her. I mean.. I was hoping TV would take a little pressure off. Lets face it, 80% of the things I talk about are completely inappropriate. Normally, I can act like a lady.. but for 5 days?

It isn't like I can go to the beach or some attraction to aid in conversation. This is a midwest town. In the middle of winter. And my MIL doesn't even keep up with world events or anything. I'm pretty sure there are caves that have more information flowing through them.

Look.. even my bunnies are better connected.


Now I'm not even sure what to talk to her about. We have almost nothing in common. I mean.. what does she do with all that time? What about at night?

So I asked my husband what I might talk to her about the whole time. He says the following. "You probably won't have to talk about anything, she does a pretty good job of doing all the talking".

Like that is suppose to make me feel better. I can only put up with my own female friends and their chattering ways for about 4 hours. I'm doomed!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Tipping debate.

Mr S. and I were on the way back from picking up take-out tonight. When we were halfway home, he asked me how much I tipped the restaurant. You see, we've had a running debate. I almost never tip for takeout, and Mr S. always does.

So, I said to him " I don't tip for takeout".

He says "oh - I always do".

I say - " I know you do, which is why I never tip for takeout".

Mr S.'s theory is that he tips so the restaurant will have an incentive to get the order right. Which I don't really understand, because we pretty much have to check the order every time we pick it up anyway. We've gotten our orders wrong enough times that checking the order is pretty standard procedure.

I don't feel like I should have to tip the restaurant for doing their job correctly.

So, I ask Mr S. "How much do you normally tip for take-out"? He says "On average 10%".

To which I reply "what"?! 10%?

I tell him this is why I never tip.

This is the question. Do you tip on takeout - and how much? I know I risk looking like an asshole, but I'm really curious. Most of the time in a restaurant I tip 20% for average service. I'm not a cheap tipper. 20% is expected.. if often not deserved. So, I have a hard time tipping for takeout.

I'm in a surly mood.

It's going be a cold day in hell before I buy another Chrysler product.

I try to be reasonable Readers. I really do. It seems there is no end to companies that try my patience. This week it is Chrysler.

Remember when I told you I took my car into the Chrysler dealership Wednesday of last week? Here.

Well, I still don't have my car. It was suppose to be ready yesterday. But when Mr S. called to see if the car was ready, the dealership would never call us back. As a matter of a fact, you can't get anyone in the service department on the phone. It goes directly to voice mail. Feeling that Mr S. had been nice long enough, I called this morning to talk to a manager. Because - I'm pissed. I've never had any shop keep my car for 6 days for minor repairs. Have you?

Finally, the service manager calls me back. He proceeds to tell me that parts for the satellite components are sitting on his desk. I'm sure in attempt to placate me, but only succeeds in pissing me off more. I wanted to yank the car today.

When I tell him I've never had a shop keep my car for parts that didn't affect the car being driven. He tries to give me an excuse then mutters under his breath "yeah.. I guess you could have still driven the car". Um.. duh~!

Even though he tells me the car will be ready by the end of the day, I still want to yell at the guy. I do. 6 days People! Remember, the car only needed a tune-up and parts ordered for the satellite systems. Which contrary to popular belief, I can still find my way around without a satellite navigation system.

Then the guy starts trying to tell me he thought Mr S. was okay with the car being left there while the parts came in. Which only pisses me off more. Who on fucking earth says they don't need their car for a week if the motor isn't blown. Honestly. Who?

Not to mention I blogged about being pissed at the dealership on Friday. The guy was claiming their 6 hour strike was causing a delay in getting the parts and I would need to bring the car back. See.. its right here in this entry.

I'd be less pissed if they had mentioned they were keeping my car for a week when I dropped it off. But they didn't. Or if they answered the phone in the service department. Ever. Or returned any calls.

This is the thing. I'm not happy so many things have gone wrong with my car, but what makes it more frustrating is trying to get the dealerships to fix the car. You'd think a car company that was loosing so much money, might attempt to provide better customer support. But they don't. They actually provide consistently bad service.

Update: As I was getting ready to post this message I got a call from the dealership. They have put my new navsat in, but they tell me the navsat disk is damaged. I don't know how something that is read by lasers, and has never been taken out of the drive can be damaged - but it apparently is going to cost me a few hundred bucks to get a new disk. I also have a transmission leak. On a car that has 15,000 miles on it.

I guess I get to add this stuff to the ever growing list of problems with this car. Not happy.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Told you!

Everyone must go see MDG's Halloween mask.

Then - look at my pictures from Bioshock! Sadly, there isn't any place to pause and get a good picture. But I couldn't find a better one at any of the game sites either.

Her mask looks exactly like one of the characters in my game! Creepy huh? Unless she's secretly been playing Bioshock.....





Sunday, October 14, 2007

Oh.. thats not right.

I'm not sure why everything has to throw up a giant roadblock and become a pain in the ass.. but... it does.

So, my regular readers will know I'm about 6 weeks into my 3 month stint with tape torture. 2 nights ago my nips start itching like crazy. Not thinking much about it, I take a bynadril and go to sleep. The next day (yesterday) I'm really itching. I decide its time to take the tape off and let everything take a rest. Only to find out I've had a severe reaction to the surgical glue. Let me emphasise severe.

Today.. it feels like I'm simultaneously being stung by fire ants, and being set on fire. I look a little like I've been wearing Chinese flip flops on my nips, where the tape used to be. HT First Year. Not good. Say it with me..

I thought the inflammation would die down overnight. But it hasn't. That's not good.. right?

On the bright side...I only went to the chiropractor once last week. But this whole glue reaction super sucks. Maybe I should just be glad this is happening now, and not when I'm out of town. Now I must run my nips to the drug store.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Back in time.

I think most people who know me think I'm a modern girl. I love modern technology. I love modern design. I especially love modern architecture. My friends know that when I move into a house, most everything in that house will get ripped out eventually and made modern.

Sometimes, I think if I would have had different opportunities growing up, maybe I would have become an architect. Poor people don't go to architecture school. They find a way to survive. Computers were the way out of poverty for me. It also fed my short attention span. Likey, an architect would need to be more focused than I am.. so maybe it was for the best.

Anyway, I guess it is no co-incidence that ones of my friends is a real estate agent. And since the housing market has become so soft, this friend has not so subtly started pointing me to houses on the market. I oblige by looking at them.

After all... there is something about houses that fascinate me. Especially a house that someone lived in their whole life and didn't seem to love. I never quite understand how people can live in a house and never do anything to it. I don't fault them.. it is just very foreign to me.

A few days ago my friend and I went to look at a house. It wasn't in a great section of town, but not a horrible one either. What I found when I got there was a little pocket in time. A neighborhood I never knew existed, and most people probably don't either. It is a 6 block area that sits in a time warp. Here is an example of some of the houses:







You see, most large scale development in my city probably started in the 1970's. It was the time when track housing became popular. You can drive into any neighborhood and most houses in that neighborhood will look very similar. But this little pocket was surely built in the 50's or earlier. And the people who live there are likely original owners.

The kind of neighborhood where people still don't lock their doors and they wave at you when you pass. No.. really. I'm not romanticising things. This neighborhood was probably where doctors and lawyers lived before McMansions became the norm. Every house is completely individual. A place that would be a shame to modernize.

I'm not sure the house works for us.. but really I wish it did. It was really a delight to see that a neighborhood like this still exists in real life.

You decide.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Detroit has no one to blame but themselves.

I'm going to be blunt here Readers. Chrysler should fire 90% of their staff. They make owning a Chrysler product one of the most un-enjoyable experiences I've ever had owning a car.

Take this for an example. Mr S. took in our Chrysler 300 on Wednesday morning for an oil change/tune-up. The navsat was completely non-operational and displaying an error message on the screen. Let me just point out this car has 15,000 miles on it.

The hands-free call system was still giving us problems, and the the satellite radio was also completely dropping out. Which has been an ongoing problem. The car would need to be shut off and restarted for the radio to start working again.

The car has already been in the shop for the hands-free and satelite radio issues. As a matter of a fact, the car has needed to be in the shop 3 times so far. Read here.

So anyway..... this is the third day the car has been in the shop. When I finally get ahold of them this afternoon, this is the bullshit I get.

They haven't done anything to the car. The tune-up hasn't been done. The parts for the other problems have been ordered. But... because of their fucking 6 hour strike,(read here) they are claiming a delay in the parts stream. Can you believe that shit?

Oh, and just let me point out... I still have to take my car back after they get the parts in.

So... to recap. 5 days in the shop for a tune-up. Because it won't be ready to be picked up till Monday.

Let me just also add - this is the second shop the car has been in. Obviously being pretty unimpressed with the work from the first shop. We decided to try a shop more in the heart of Silicon Valley hoping for a better quality of service. Which I will reveal after I get my f-ing car.

It would be one thing if through every step of the process, Chrysler employees didn't make it obvious they don't give give a shit about their product or their customers. Each and every time we deal with Chrysler we get about as equally bad service. As for the Union.. they should be glad they settled their strike so quickly, because frankly I think they should feel lucky they have jobs.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Fuzzy.

Did I ever mention what an insomniac I am? I am.

I can usually operate fairly well on about 4 days without sleep, but the 5th day puts me over the edge. The 5th day is when I start evaluating whether its safe for me to drive. I try to limit my contact with people. Simple tasks seem to take three times the effort. It is generally a very rough day.

Okay.. so on top of my sleep deprivation, my espresso maker has started to have problems.

I don't drink espresso because of some snooty coffee aficionado bullshit. I drink espresso because its the only way I can get enough caffeine in my body to become a normal human being. You see what I just wrote about my sleep deprivation. Right? You have to grasp how much coffee it takes for someone who routinely misses that much sleep needs to operate. It's a lot.

Don't even get me on a rant about how the machine is only 6 months old, and I paid a crazy amount of money to have a machine giving me such hassles only 6 months into owning it. Pisses me off. But I digress.

Normally, this would be a fairly routine event at the Che Snarkolepsy household. I kind of go into these cycles. But...remember I'm going on a trip. Soon.

Then, Mr S. shares with me this tidbit. The nearest Starbucks is 20 miles from his mothers house. It's like the dark ages. I can't go 3 miles without running into a Starbucks. I mean.. hasn't the chain colonised every town in America yet?

At any rate, I'm hoping my sleep cycle switches soon. Because it would really suck to be this sleep deprived and have do the whole family thing and have to listen to that dreaded story they love to tell me. Makes me shiver.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Know your target market.

"It would be quite a savings if you chose to stay with me. You know me, I'm always looking to save without losing quality. Besides it would do me good to discover what's missing in the "guest" bedroom-bath accommodations that I present to folks".

My mother-in-law in doing the gentle dance of trying to get us to stay at her house while we are in bitchopalooza instead of staying in a hotel. Above is an excerpt from an email my husband got from her. Which is pretty funny.

Notice how she is trying to appeal to our logical side? I feel a little like I'm being product targeted.

I thought she would do the guilt thing. But, I have to give her a lot of credit. She is trying a new approach.. and it's at least entertaining.

I'm stealing your bees.

All year long I've been hearing the bee population has been declining. I haven't done any research on it, because it just isn't that interesting of a story. And mostly because I didn't believe the decline in bees was true.

Or if it was true, I couldn't understand how my house was somehow the epicenter of bee-dom.

You see..in my yard I have an excess of bees. All year long I could probably count thousands of bees on my property. I'm not kidding. So many bees in fact, Mr S. and I joke about how much noise they make.

Okay.. so why am I telling you about this? You're bored right? Me too. But I'm getting sick of these stories about the dead bees.

Today I'm getting some yard work out of the way, and I'm dodging bees. Which apparently have all come to my place to hang out. Thinking it was the perfect time to try out my new camera lens I took a few shots of the bees and some butterfly's.





Not an hour later the news had another story on the "bee crisis". Specifically a species of bumblebee called franklin's bumblebee.


Click to read the story.

Now, I'm no entomologist, but the bees on my property look a lot like the picture they showed on the news. Which are now suppose to be extinct. Personally, I just think the scientist's aren't trying to look for the bees, because it makes a better story that we are all doomed.

At any rate.. if the bee crisis is true, all you people are starving and I have a new income stream selling bees.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Neurotic much?

Okay Readers... you only have to put up with this thread for a month. By this time November, I'll be onto some other tangent. But for this month, its going to be all about the trip. Well except for the robot show right before the trip. And crap I have to do before the trip. But, other than that.. all about the trip.

This week has been consumed with finding the right bunny nanny. Yeah - that's right. I'm hiring a nanny for my pets. You would be amazed at how many people are afraid to care for rabbits. I was starting to think I wouldn't find anyone.

We finally did find someone who didn't make me nervous, and she came out today. I am really happy and comfortable with her. This is a huge relief, because Jane still has that whole controlled glaucoma thing going on. (Read about here)So she needs medication, and artificial tears daily. Lame I know, but what am I going to do? She's got a goofy medical problem, so I have to take care of her. The nanny seems very comfortable handling the rabbits and giving Jane her meds. Which is a huge relief.

I actually trust her to care for the bunnies more than I trust any of my friends. She also doesn't mind the bunny cam. Yes...you read right. A bunny cam. If you guys haven't figured out I'm totally neurotic by now, I don't know what to tell you.

One of the nannies who came highly recommended freaked out a little bit when I told her about the bunny cam. Which was kind of a bummer, because we really weren't spying on her. It would have made her job easier in fact. But I totally understand how cameras make people uncomfortable.

At any rate.. I'm happy to have this hurdle handled. Onto the next.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Trying to find my inner chi.

Sorry I've left you hanging so long, Readers.

Everything since Friday has been a giant ball of stress. And, since it's always a perfect idea to add more stress to any situation - Mr S. and I have decided to book a trip to a Mid-West town. Henceforth to be called Bitchopolooza. Which has pretty much put me on tilt. The great thing for you, is that I will be mobile blogging. Or sanity blogging.

You see, we are going to visit my husbands family. Who are very fine decent people. Let me just say that right up front. My whole bitch fest will most definitely be more about what an asshole I am, rather than anything wrong with his family. This is also something I'm keenly aware of.

So when you read my rants, you know up front I know I'm being an asshole. But, this is my blog, and Mr S. has agreed I get to bitch about anything in exchange for me going. And there will be bitching.

It really is a testament to how strong of a man my husband is. He has to endure a lot you know.

This is a preview of bitchopolooza:

1. I hate flying. This isn't to say I don't love to travel. I just hate to fly. More of a road trip girl myself. I particularly hate waiting. You can't imagine how much I hate waiting. And airports are all about that. Gets on my last nerve. I also hate having to sit for extended periods of time.

Then there are a lot of "please don't let me die with this group of people" kinds of thoughts going on.

Every time I fly these days, I feel like I'm somehow with people who should be on the short bus. Like last time, when someone threw up in the plane and made the whole plane smell like puke. Once, I got sat next to someone with a neurological disorder, and she kept bumping me the whole 5 hour flight. I thought I would wig out.

2. The family. More specifically Mr S's mother. She is a little too...everything.

She and I are both only children, but we couldn't be more opposite. We get along very well mind you, but she's a little like a golden retriever who wont stop licking your face. She's so nice, you just have to put up with it. But she certainly is a smotherer.

See.. I'm an asshole right? Most people would love to have that problem.

3. My need for entertainment. I don't really want to fly hundreds of miles to hang out at someones house for days. Refer back to item #1.

Mr S.'s mom's idea of a good time, is to throw a party. Or hang out at the house all day regaling me with a certain childhood story I've heard about a half a billion times by now. Last time we were there, I was told that story 50 times in one night. I'm not exaggerating. They always seem to think its the first time I've heard it.

I sort of want to see something while I'm there. Preferably with his mom. She's a perfectly fit woman.

4. Mr S's mom overcooks everything. And I have to pretend that I like it. Because, while I'm an asshole... I'm not rude.

It's going to be a good fun time. You see that. right?
 
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